From Dog Mom to Twin Mom: The Identity Crisis No One Talks About with Dominika Knossalla-Pado (E83)

Ep 1

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[00:00:00] When we step into motherhood, we expect to be stretched, but we also assume that in the areas where we're already strong, we'll be fine.

We think I've got this part handled, but what happens when even that part crumbles in this episode, Dominica, Aldo shares a unexpected journey into motherhood. One that shook the very foundation she thought was rock solid. If you've ever felt blindsided by early motherhood or question everything you thought you knew, this one's for you.

In this episode, we're talking to a mom who shares a raw and unexpected journey into motherhood. One that shook the very foundation of what she thought was already going to be rock solid. If you've ever felt blindsided by early motherhood or question everything you thought you knew or thought you were an expert in, this one's for you.

My name is Chrissy Bold. I'm a stay home mom to two little boys, and this is Mom's Guide to Finding Herself.

When we enter motherhood, most of us think we know enough to get by, and if there's one area we feel confident in, [00:01:00] like maybe a part of life we've spent years building expertise in, we think that part at least will go smoothly

for Dominica Kasal Pato, that was Dogs as a certified dog trainer and founder of the online platform. Dog meets Baby, where she supports families with dogs. She had the experience, the plan, and all the right prep in place, but when her twins were born, her world was rocked in ways she couldn't have predicted.

Let's listen to the story.

Krissy: Dominika. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am really excited to hear about your journey to motherhood, your trip through, and then next week we're going to talk about your experience helping families and moms prepare their dogs for the journey. But first, today, let's talk about you.

So tell me, who were you before you became a mom?

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: was, um, a wife, a dog trainer. dog [00:02:00] mom to my dog, Lola, um, a traveler. Um, many roles.

Krissy: Amazing. Now you, it sounds like you've always been a traveler then. Now that must have slowed down after you had babies, but we'll talk about that in a little bit. Now, you were married for a little while, then you had your babies. Now you were.

pregnant with twins Right. Um, tell me about that.

Oh, okay. So you weren't too surprised when that happened.

Now

you just knew and it was your dream. That's amazing. So when you found out, you were like, yes, this is awesome. Oh, so good. So tell me about your journey to motherhood.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: always wanted to have

twins.

All the sets in, the

twin sets in my family girl twins. so yes,

I have a boy, girl,

um,

um set

And [00:03:00] um, I was, um, it's a twin pregnancy, so there were some complications. Again, something that

I about, I hoped I would not have complications.

I had them, so I had to be on bedrest for two months I was able to be up for 10 minutes every two hours. And it sounds awful, but honestly it wasn't as bad as it

Krissy: Okay.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: that was the last time

I was able to

Krissy: Yep.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: focus on myself

and just

it was stressful

of

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: the reason why I was on bedrest

was not because you know, things great,

Krissy: right.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I had to be

hospitalized twice.

But not, it wasn't, um, it was okay. It wasn't as bad as it sounds.

Krissy: Sure. I can [00:04:00] get behind that. Yeah, like there's the stress and the worry, but there's also like a lot of tv,

a lot of relaxing at that point.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I was in of multiples, so I had a lot of support and from people who have gone through the same thing. And I think their approach as some of them had, um, little kids and they just kept telling me, oh, enjoy it. I'm so jealous that you could be on bedrest. I was like, okay,

well maybe that's a different perspective, different way of looking at this.

So I could, it, it really helped me and I

was also able to ask them questions

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: worried about something. So that was super

helpful

Krissy: yeah. That makes a big difference when your social network has been through it, and then they're open about it too. Because a lot of times you'll have people and friends in your life that have been down that road, but they're like, it's fine. You'll be fine. And they don't,

so to have people be honest with you and open [00:05:00] with you.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: very

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: shared as well.

Krissy: That's so great. Now, you were a dog trainer as well at the time. Did you continue to train at, um, while you were pregnant? I'm sure up until the bed rest, maybe. Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: And um yeah, I worked all time.

Krissy: yeah. I get that. And that's like what most people do, but dog training is so hands on and so interactive that I can imagine that that must have been even more exhausting than your typical pregnancy journey. Now, do you have family close by to help you out?

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: no I don't.

But

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: um, once I had my

children a mother's helper. Um, so that was super helpful. And [00:06:00] then when I went back to work, I had a part-time nanny.

Krissy: Being able to ask for help is a skill in its own, like being able to hire, help and find people, like kudos to you for doing that. Now, let's talk about what happened right after those twins came, so it was all, you know, up and down, but kind of nice while you were on bedrest, and then boom, they're here in the world.

What was, what was that like?

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: was so focused on making it to 35

weeks or like, I mean, initially it was 32

Krissy: yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: 34 weeks, weeks 36 and

then I think once I got to I was off the bedrest. Um, and, um, and then they were born 37 and two. I had preeclampsia,

Krissy: Oh, geez.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: so,

um a, it was a C-section because of

that

Krissy: Yep.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: things. Um,[00:07:00]

but I was so on making it to that. Safe

day

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: like, um,

having them in, in my

as

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: that I couldn't, I

didn't really think much what's

Krissy: Yep.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: now? I think only in

the very last week when, I was pregnant, I hired, uh, postpartum doula who specialized in twins

Krissy: nice

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: And she, a

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: really, like, I couldn't

go to most classes I and then my husband had to go to like a with a lactation consultant.

Krissy: Oh, so he went for you?

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: yeah, he went, I was like you have to go

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: do

it

Krissy: Right

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: bed dress. So,

so I hired her and that was so, [00:08:00] so helpful because she would come to our house and like, show

us

like

Krissy: yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: you bath a child. This is how you

hold twins. This is

way to

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: This is what, you know, like what,

especially with twins,

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: making sure that we, um, like we were me,

my

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: it was super helpful that we had

her She was not, not a night doula. She was coming for, for a few hours

when we needed her. But that was

amazing because

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: really

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I honestly

did not prepare for what's next. And I did prepare my dog. So, you know, I was, she was prepared and trained, so I focused on that part, but I was never really thinking past, like giving birth.

Krissy: That is so common. Yeah,

exactly. It's so common. I hear that all the time and about like we're, we just gotta get this baby out and then the rest should come naturally, right? The rest [00:09:00] should just be instinctual, but in so many ways it's not. Now you prepared, it sounds like a lot more, in a lot of ways, creatively, you tried to figure out how to send your husband, because I mean, your kids are nine now, so you know when, when I had my babies.

Yeah, everything was virtual because there were no groups that were meeting. It was all in COVID, but, but we had figured out at least how to kind of make the virtual work. But nine years ago, that wasn't a thing.

You had to have

somebody go, no,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Mm.

Krissy: not at all. So, um, that's wild. And doulas are an angel on earth.

Like truly, they, they are here to help you in so many different ways. So I'm so glad you found one that you could connect with about the twins specifically and about being around you. Now, born

in the safe zone, as you said, right?

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Yes,

Krissy: But was everything smooth sailing from there, or were there complications?[00:10:00]

Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: because it was, they were full term for

twins. But my son needed some

NICU

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I was

absolutely not prepared Um, and that was, I think it was really, really hard on both of us. But, um, because I just gave birth and, and the shock of it and, was multiple things. It was the pregnancy, I think the stress that it's finally over. then when we brought the kids home, finally both of them, um, my dog had a very scary reaction to them. And, um, she was hunting for them and I did not expect that. Um, so there was just like many things that, um, that happened that ultimately led to postpartum anxiety, depression.

[00:11:00] Um, it was not a fun time. The first few months,

Krissy: No, not at all. Now, as a dog trainer, that must have been. Devastating to see a reaction from your dog that you love and that you put all this work in preparing for, and then just the unpredictable happened. Right. You, I know from our conversations before that that's not common to have this predatory reaction, so tell me what was going through your mind as this was unfolding.

Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: much,

Krissy: sure.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: it was just it was

knew what I was and at the same time, I just couldn't believe it. But it was seconds, right? Like from

the

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: when she just saw them and then she

reacted they were in the crib, they were so nothing happened. was more that as a trainer, I did not like. I, yes, my dog has a high prey drive and I've, [00:12:00] I've heard, I've, I've heard about it, but not really much. There is it it it's, as you said, it's very rare, so people listening. I don't want

anyone to think it might happen to them. I know

many many dogs with high are going to be, great around newborns, and they are just going to be relaxed or mildly confused.

But nothing, nothing would offer. F to what I saw. um, it was really heartbreaking because I was excited for my dog to meet, to meet my kids. And I have a yellow lab retriever, so it's just something that very friendly dog will socialize.

Krissy: Your family dog.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Yeah. She

loves she loved children, not

newborns

So

Krissy: sure

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: this was not something that

I expected and I crying and telling my husband I can't rehome her. Like, I was just like, [00:13:00] this is like, it's, it's like I don't know what to do because there was no way I can rehome Lola. But at the same time, like if, if she is hunting for my children, she cannot stay.

So, without like what I did, because this is, um, it was of course, um. Uh, like a plan

that I

Krissy: sure.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: follow. But the first thing that I did, I sent her back to And I, I don't remember right now, but probably after, like I needed like a few

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: three days while of course, while I,

while caring for the kids from a c-section. So I needed a

plan. And once I knew

what I want to do and plan, she came back.

Krissy: Smart.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: then from there things were great,

you know once we followed the plan as a trainer, I knew exactly what to

do,

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: it wasn't, uh, and I knew the

training that I have done with her. So, [00:14:00] it was great. I didn't trust

her

Krissy: Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: two, three

months because

um seeing this is not

something that can recover from easily. And later when I work for families who have been through a similar experience, they always tell me the same thing. It took them about two to three months to their dog again, and then sometimes it, it, it takes longer. So, um, that was definitely not

something

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: And, um, right now

it,

Krissy: yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: me years,

Krissy: yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: to talk about it

Krissy: I can imagine. Because I mean, in that moment, you're already so overwhelmed. You had one baby in the nicu, one, two babies. Now you're taking home. How long was, um, you, your son you said was, how long was he in the nicu?

Oh, good.

were you in the hospital then, or did you all come [00:15:00] home? Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: in

Krissy: Great.

Oh

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: you know, it was

Krissy: yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Right It's just

Krissy: You don't want it anyway. It, there's no, there's no good scenario, but it's nice to be able to all come home as a family.

Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: the wanna be a member

of, even if it's great.

Um,

and you know, we, we definitely

nurses and we met there. Um, was a great community, but it's not that we wanted to be

there.

Krissy: No, not at all. Absolutely not. Yeah, so you have the stress of that, the stress of your C-section, the stress of the pre preeclampsia, and then all coming home. And all you wanna do at that point is just take a breather or sit down on your couch and maybe snuggle up with the dog. That has been your support for years now, and it just, it all turns upside down and, and that's [00:16:00] not something you prepare for.

Thank goodness you had that trusted dog walker that you could send to just so to have some time to recoup, to think, because you can't think on your feet when you're freshly postpartum. That's not part of our biology anymore at the point, so that's amazing. Now tell me about how that affected you. And your relationship with your dog, because I know, uh, I had a dog when I, um, when I was pregnant and with my first baby when I brought her home, and it, I wasn't prepared for how I would feel as a person, as a, as a dog mom, how that would change for me.

So did that change for you?

Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: because I understood what a trainer. You know, I I, and I competed with my dog in scent detection,

Krissy: Mm-hmm

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: understood

why she did this. She's an an animal. She was, she died this year,

but she

Krissy: Oh Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: [00:17:00] with, with instincts, right?

So it wasn't that I not something that I expected,

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: much what animals do.

So I didn't, I think the main, there was some grief that we didn't get

to have the, um,

weeks

Krissy: Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: right?

Like,

I

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: any pictures of my kids

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: very little. And

I and the few ones that I I remember how stressed I

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: them. And you can see it,

uh, like how us she is and, and the like, how, how tense we are

Krissy: yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: especially me, not my husband

less

Krissy: Mm-hmm

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Um, But I because she was my, she was my fur baby and I used to do so much with her. Like we used to compete and we used to go to [00:18:00] classes together and train a lot and just do a lot of stuff together. I think I, that the main feeling was guilt for me. It was, um I did plan things right.

So Lola had a dog walker that was taking her for five to six hours every day she was going to the beach. She actually had a great

time

and

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: home tired. So that was,

you know that was

helpful

wasn't really worried about her not

having enough exercise. was having plenty of exercise, but, um. She was well trained, right? So I didn't really have to deal with her barking or being uncomfortable being separated because of course I had to separate her

initially cause I was not, um, just

for for everyone's safety. part was fine, but I really felt a lot of guilt because I couldn't do the same things that I used to do with her.

And then we got to a [00:19:00] point when I felt better and the kids were like six months

Krissy: Mm-hmm

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I remember

that I had to make a decision, go back to the nose work training? And a lot of that training was evenings and weekends. Um, 'cause we were competing and I just made a decision. I was like, I have to choose myself because if I now spent this time with her,

Krissy: Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I'm not going to have any time

for, for myself.

Uh, it makes me emotional, and that was a really hard moment because I was just like, I felt so guilty because as much as I loved our time together, I was just so tired

and I never had time for anything. I just needed that time for, for myself or for my family.

Krissy: yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: and I just didn't want to, um, from, you know, from my time or the time [00:20:00] with my family, anymore.

But it felt very selfish.

Krissy: I get that. I think we all go through that in one way, shape, or form. So what did you do?

Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I just continued to and to feel guilty. I didn't,

well I had you know, because I, I didn't feel good and

I,

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: My ob actually, me like medication.

Krissy: Nice yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I just, I was, I was a mess.

then I started therapy and so I was able, you know, I had an outlet where I was able to talk about it, but to be honest, I don't really think I talked about it much, um, because there was just so, like other things that were on my mind, more pressing things.

So I just, don't, I think I started [00:21:00] really processing it later when I, like, when I started Dog meet's baby, and I, I was in a different spot because I was, you know, like my kids at that time were four, um,

Krissy: Okay.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: and everything

combined the time, the the, just seeing their relationship with Lola.

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: And that she actually

gained people in her she lost some things, but she also gained some

things. I think, um, I was finally able that is different.

Krissy: Yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: for all of us.

Um but Lola actually is unhappy. She's, you know, she loved searching for scents, but she also loved cleaning after my kids. Um, she, was, you know, she was still really happy

and,

Krissy: yeah,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: you know, she loved going on walks

with us and she loved [00:22:00] with my children,

Krissy: yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: doing like, hiding things for her

in the house Right. It wasn't the

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: but I was,

like I re was able to get over that feeling,

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: but for the most part I

was it was just, it. Just accepting are different like Grace, just giving myself grace.

Krissy: Um, yeah, that's so beautifully said. I couldn't have said it better myself because yes, life is different and we can accept it and be happy with it, but we could still be sad that it's not what we imagined or it's not what it was. So to have both of those is incredible. Now, just real quick before we wrap up with this conversation, I wanna hear what brought you to start Dog Meets baby.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: I was already working on a book back then and with a friend of mine, Michelle, and we were writing this book during, when my kids were in preschool and [00:23:00] her daughter was napping, so it was, you know, like sometimes things were not happening because her daughter was

up

Krissy: Yep.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: my kids were sick. Right.

So it was, it

was very irregular and but I working with her. Like I was able to, like I have a, like I, even if we have never published this book, I have it in writing. So I was able to like have the, a plan of what it would look like you know, someone a plan, how to prepare their dog for a baby. that was very helpful. And then it was the pandemic

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: suddenly my kids were home and didn't work.

Krissy: Yeah

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: course I had to take care of my

children and Lola were canceled

too.

Krissy: Yes.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: And um,

I just realized, well moment when I [00:24:00] can things on Instagram because I really liked Instagram, so I just started Dog Meet's Baby.

And initially it was different. I was just posting about my children and Lola and things that we do, activities. And then at some point, um, someone, it was a bigger account, um, mom brain therapist, she recommended my account. It was July 4th, and I suddenly gained like a few thousand followers and it's just snowballed from there.

But that's, that's what, that was the moment when I realized that people actually need more of the pre-baby help or

Krissy: Yeah.

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: you know, like really like the

pre-baby help, right? Like how to dog for your child

rather than activities for your child and your dog. So I pivoted to the pre-baby content.[00:25:00]

Krissy: I love that story. It is such a perfect example of start small and follow the breadcrumbs and you just don't know where things are going to take you. You started by writing a book and here you are with this incredible platform, uh, following that has learned and realized so much on what you're teaching and, and so much more.

you, Dominika, for sharing this story with us today,

Dominika Knossalla-Pado: Thank you

Krissy: and I hope you'll come back next week so we can talk about all of those things that was in that book and that you share on your account.

If Dominique's story resonated with you, please take a moment to share this episode with a fellow mom who needs to hear that she's not alone. And if you haven't already, take a second to follow the show. Tap those five stars and leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Every share rating and review helps this community grow, and I am so grateful to have you in it.

Now whether you're [00:26:00] preparing your dog for a baby or preparing your family for a dog, the next episode is going to be a must listen

because no matter which way you're walking into that transition, it is emotional, it is messy, and it impacts your whole household. DOA is coming back and we're talking about what really helps when you're navigating life with kids and dogs beyond just sit, stay, and shake.