A Gentle Year in Review for Moms (E73)

Year in Review for Moms, Gently

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[00:00:00] This time of year, it's easy to look back and only see the moments We fell short, the goals we didn't hit, the times we lost our patients, the things we meant to do. But what if we looked closer? What if we gave ourselves credit for? Everything we did show up for. In this episode, I'm walking you through a year in review process that's actually made for moms honest, gentle, and full of reminders that you've done more than you think.

I'm Krissy Bold. I'm a mom to two little boys, and this is Mom's Guide to Finding Herself. I had this moment recently while trying to pull together photos for our holiday card.

I was scrolling through my photos from this year and my first thought was, wait, this all happened this year. It felt like both a blur and a lifetime. I saw birthday parties, doctor visits, crafts, the clutter all over every surface in my house. I had this tug in my chest like I should have done more, more big [00:01:00] moments, more progress, more me.

But then I noticed something else in those photos. I saw consistency. I saw a mom who showed up again and again. Even on the days she felt like she had nothing left. I saw mess and joy tangled together. I saw proof that while it didn't always feel like enough, it was more than enough.

That's when I realized we don't need a highlight reel to measure a year. We need reflection that makes space for the quiet, invisible work we've been doing all along.

We need to let go of the Pinterest version of progress. We are trained to look for big, shiny milestones, the new job, the new house, the perfect family photo. But most of what we do as moms is invisible. It's emotional labor, it's mental juggling. It's care that doesn't show up in the highlight reels.

So if you don't have [00:02:00] a laundry list of outward accomplishments, that doesn't mean you didn't grow. It means you were doing deep, internal, necessary work. The kind that changes families. Let's name a few of those invisible wins. You navigated another year of parenting without a guidebook.

You comforted a child in the middle of the night while running on fumes.

You made hard choices and second guess yourself. But you kept going. You got up when you didn't want to again and again. These count, you count. Now here's why we see the bad first and how we can shift it. There's actually a reason we focus on what went wrong instead of what went right.

It's called the negativity bias. The idea that negative events or comments or experiences leave a deeper impression than positive ones, even when they're the same size. Psychologists say our [00:03:00] brains are wired to notice danger and threats. Our ancestors who paid attention to those threats survived.

So our brains still pay more attention to what went wrong than what went right even today. But today it can trick us into believing we're always falling short. You could have 10 good moments in a day and one meltdown, and guess which one your brain will replay?

Yep. That one, but here's the good news. We can actually retrain our brains to see the whole picture. Not by ignoring the hard stuff, but by intentionally noticing the good. Our brains are plastic, meaning they change. Research on gratitude interventions, shows measurable shifts in mood, mental health and wellbeing.

For example, a meta-analysis found that gratitude practices led to a higher sense of life satisfaction and lower symptoms of anxiety and [00:04:00] depression. Yes, please. This is where your year in review becomes powerful. It's not toxic positivity. It's retraining your mind to notice you again. So when we force ourselves to see the good, we aren't denying the hard.

We are training our brain to notice everything else too. we're giving our brain a fuller, truer narrative. Try this every time your brain offers up a regret or a not enough moment from this year, pair it with something that proves that you showed up. I snapped at bedtime pairs with, I still read the book.

I forgot the school project pairs with. I was at every pickup every day. This isn't about pretending things were perfect. It's about seeing yourself clearly whole human and trying your best. Here's a way to look back without spiraling.

Ask [00:05:00] yourself these five real life reflection questions. What did I learn to carry more gently? What tiny thing did I try, even if it scared me? Where did I say no in a way that protected my peace? Okay. When did I surprise myself? In a good way? What do I want to remember that I never want to forget?

It's not about productivity, it's about perspective.

If you've been nodding along and thinking, I just want something simple to help me reconnect during the week, I've got you.

It's called the Mom Moment Memo. It's short, encouraging emails that I send throughout the week with little pockets of calm just for you. You'll get stories, gentle reminders, and simple ideas to help you pause, breathe, and come back to yourself without the guilt.

each memo is designed to be read in three minutes or less. So it's perfect for those in-between moments when you're hiding in the pantry or waiting at the school pickup [00:06:00] line. In each one, you might get a guilt busting reframe that you'll want to screenshot or a spark of joy or curiosity you can try in five minutes or less, a grounding question to remind you of who you are or a story or truth that makes you feel less alone.

It's completely free, and it's like having a friend in your inbox reminding you that you still matter. Go to mom identity project.com/memo and I'll add you to the list.

Now let's zoom out because once you've started to see yourself clearly the full picture of your effort, your strength, your presence. It's time to redefine what growth actually looked like this year. And it probably wasn't loud or obvious, but it was happening. Growth this year might have looked like not responding to every group chat right away.

Asking for help when you didn't want to. Choosing rest over one more task. Getting up after feeling really low. It's okay if you [00:07:00] didn't reinvent your life. You were doing the work of holding it together, building it piece by piece. Maybe you discovered what your boundaries actually are.

Maybe you started saying, actually, I can't commit to that right now. That's growth. Maybe you got better at making frozen pizza without guilt. That's growth too.

As we move into next year, don't make a resolution to become a whole new version of yourself. Make space for the version of you that's already trying her best. Start with these questions, not goals. What feels tender? What feels exciting? Where do I want more support? What's one thing I want to experience next year?

Let your next season reflect this one. Not erase it. You don't have to change who you are, you just have to keep coming back to her.

In the next episode, we're talking about building a vision for 2026, how to capture what lights you up and start to [00:08:00] design a year that reflects the person you're becoming, not the person you think you should be. These are real life ways to imagine plan and live a year that you can feel proud of before it passes you by.

If you're leaving this episode with an aha moment or something you wanna try, let me know in the reviews. While you're there, leave a five star rating. Share this episode with a friend who could use a reframe on how to look back on their year with more perspective and come say hi over on Instagram or TikTok at Mom Identity Project.

Until then, remember, you are an amazing mom just as you are.