Reclaiming Your Sanity This Holiday Season Without Skipping the Magic (E69)

Holiday Mom Marathon: Finding Quiet Moments

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The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? But for so many moms, they feel more like a marathon of to-do lists, tangled lights, and emotional landmines. If you're wondering how you're supposed to find a moment for yourself when everyone else needs something from you, this episode is for you. I'm going to share what's worked for me, what definitely hasn't, and how we can shift the holiday experience to include our needs to, even if it's just 10 quiet minutes hiding in the laundry room.

Let's talk about reclaiming you during the busiest season of the year. I'm Krissy Bold. I'm a mom to two little boys, and this is Mom's Guide to Finding Herself. I remember one Christmas when my kids were both under three. We didn't even put ornaments on the tree that year because the kids were both in the rip and toss face.

My oldest only wanted to look at Santa from safely above him on the second floor of the mall. I felt like I was trying to create magic that no one even wanted, and I had absolutely. Zero patience [00:01:00] left. At one point, I locked myself in the bathroom, not for a self-care moment that I probably actually really needed, but because I genuinely needed to cry where no one could find me.

That year taught me something important. I was so focused on making magic for everyone else that I forgot I was a person who needed a little magic too. That's when I started asking. What would it look like to actually include myself in the holiday season?

That moment in the bathroom taught me something important, not just that I needed a break, which clearly I did, but that the kind of holiday I was chasing wasn't sustainable. It wasn't for us. It was for some imaginary version of what I thought a good mom does in December. So I started rethinking things, not to ditch the magic, but to redefine it because I do want the holidays to feel special.

I wanna make memories. I wanna soak in the joy, I wanna do the Santa photos and bake the [00:02:00] cookies. But I also want to actually enjoy those moments. I want to feel like I'm in them, not just orchestrating them from behind the scenes, like a stressed out stage manager.

So this episode is about holding both things at once. It's about keeping the magic and making space for yourself. It's about choosing what matters, skipping what doesn't, and giving yourself permission to matter to. Because the most magical memories aren't the ones where everything was perfect.

They're the ones where you were actually there, present, engaged, you.

So let's start with the pressure cooker. That invisible weight that shows up right around the time Starbucks rolls out the holiday cups. Before we talk about boundaries or balance. We have to name what's pushing us to the edge. In the first place, there's this invisible pressure that kicks in around mid-November.

[00:03:00] Suddenly you feel like you need to create a season filled with memory worthy scrapbook ready moments. Every light show, Santa visit, cocoa Bar matching pajama photo shoot, even the DIY ornament making kit you impulsively bought at Target.

All of those things add up. Whether you're in the toddler phase, where they skip naps, if the wind changes direction, or you have school aged kids who wanna see every friend and attend every single themed event, the pressure is real.

You feel like you'll miss the magic if you don't do it all. Even when it means dragging over tired kids into a mile long line to see Santa after dark during the nap danger zone. You know the one, you've packed the snacks, you've prepped the bribes, and you're already sweating in your holiday sweater by the time you get to the front of the line and when your toddler starts sobbing, the second Santa says hello.

You still take the picture, you still smile, and you still somehow wonder if you've done enough.

Now let's talk about what [00:04:00] happens when that pressure builds up. It's not always dramatic. Sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's quiet, and it's really easy to miss until you're suddenly yelling over a dropped ornament. Burnout doesn't always mean you're crying in the closet, but no judgment if that's what it is for you. Sometimes it looks like irritability, like whisper yelling or not. So whisper yelling, get in the car as you're late for your fourth holiday gathering in one weekend.

Sometimes it looks like resenting your partner for enjoying the moment while you're stuck being the planner and the packer and the snack coordinator. It's the kind of burnout that builds slowly, you feel pulled in every direction. And yet if someone actually asked, what would you like to do this holiday?

You might not even know how to answer, but here's the part that really snuck up on me. The way that fomo, that fear of missing [00:05:00] out weaves itself into everything. It's in my decisions, my calendar, my yeses, even when I didn't realize it. FOMO doesn't just show up on your social feed, it shows up in your calendar.

It sounds like we should really take them to see the lights. Everyone says it's amazing. Or this could be the last year that they really wanna go see Santa. We have to go or it's not Christmas without, insert whatever tradition you're too tired to do, but feel guilty skipping.

You pile on thinking, you're giving them memories. But what they might remember most is the feeling in the house, the rushed tone, the stress in your eyes, the just smile for the picture, energy and listen. This isn't about guilt, it's about grace. Grace to recognize that every magical moment doesn't have to be yours to manufacture.

So what do we do? Because I don't want this to just [00:06:00] be an episode that points out the hard stuff. I wanna help you shift. Here's what's helped me simplify without sacrificing the spirit of the season. Here's what I've learned. It's not about doing more. It's about doing what matters and doing it from a place of connection, not exhaustion.

So here's what you can do. First, choose your big three. Pick three things that feel truly meaningful to you and your family. Let the rest be optional. Maybe it's baking cookies or Christmas Eve movie night, or one light show, just one, and hopefully it's at 4:00 PM if possible. The magic isn't in the quantity, it's in the energy that you bring.

Schedule your recharge time. Block out non-negotiable moments for yourself. It might be 15 minutes after bedtime with a cup of tea in silence, or maybe it's a solo grocery run where you grab your favorite holiday latte. [00:07:00] Those moments matter. Let good enough be great. Let the gingerbread house collapse.

Let the wrapping be from the dollar store. Let the memories be messy and real. Your kids don't care about perfect. They care about being present. They care about you being present and at peace. I want you to ask yourself this one question, whenever you feel that we should do this pull ask, am I doing this because it's meaningful or because I'm afraid of missing out?

That one question can really save you. And then lastly, tailor the season to your season. If your kids are toddlers, maybe bedtime trumps the 7:00 PM Light parade, and that's okay. If your baby needs a nap at the same time as the Hot Cocoa with Santa Event, skip it.

You're not failing. You're parenting with the [00:08:00] realities of your life, not the fantasy of Instagram. Your holidays don't need to match anyone else's highlight reel. They just need to feel like home for all of you, including you. And if you're sitting there thinking, this all sounds great, but when am I supposed to find this magical time for myself?

I hear you. That's exactly why I created the Mom Identity Starter Kit. It's a bundle of three mini workshops that walk you through exactly how to rediscover, what lights you up, carve out that guilt-free time for it and make a plan that you'll actually follow through with.

The one that I think you'll love the most right now is called Find the Time. For just $7 it'll help you create space for yourself without overhauling your life or adding more to your plate. Or you can grab the full kit with all three workshops for just $17 and get my exact frameworks, my reset time and idea methods.

These are the same tools I've used in my own life and to help other moms go [00:09:00] from, I don't even know what I want anymore, to feeling grounded and lit up again. So if you're ready to stop waiting for someday and start feeling like you again, even in just 15 minutes at a time, head to mom identity project.com/starter kit and choose what works for you now that we've made space to let some things go.

Let's talk about what we're adding back in, because this isn't about doing less. It's about doing more of what fuels you. This part is the heart of all of it. How to protect little moments that remind you of who you are. This is the core, not just escaping for a quick scroll on your phone behind a closed bathroom door, though we've all done that, I'm talking about meaningful moments that feed you, not just numb you. Schedule a non-negotiable recharge time.

Start with 10 minutes, set a timer. Put a show on for the kids or trade off with a partner. Use that time for something that gives back to you. Maybe it's [00:10:00] journaling or a walk around the block or dancing to one good song, sitting in silence. Literally anything that reminds you that you are a person.

And yes, you can do that with the kids if you're having trouble finding alone time. And that's okay. Create a sanity list. Make a short list of three things that feel like yours this season. Maybe it's watching your favorite cheesy holiday movie, or maybe it's going for a solo target run instead of shopping online, or maybe it's baking the cookies. Whatever it is, post the list, keep it sacred. You deserve to enjoy the season too. Stack habits that you already have. If you're making cocoa for the kids, make yourself a fancy one with whipped cream.

If you are wrapping gifts, play a podcast or playlist that you love. If you're driving to an event, give yourself five minutes in the car before going in to breathe and check in with [00:11:00] yourself. ask for one thing each week, every Sunday, ask, what's one thing I need this week? Is it a nap? Is it a friend date?

Is it time to do nothing? Then look at your schedule and carve it out, even if it's just 20 minutes. That one thing could shift your whole mood for the rest of the week. And then lastly, tell someone you're trying . Tell your partner, a friend, or honestly even your kid, if they're old enough, let them know

i'm trying to make a little more time for myself this holiday because I wanna show up happier and more present. That honesty opens up space for support and models something powerful. You don't have to find hours. You just have to start finding you again a few minutes at a time. If you had an aha moment or something that you wanna try, let me know in the reviews while you're there, leave a five [00:12:00] star rating.

Share this episode with a friend who could use a little more peace so they can actually enjoy the holiday season and come say hi to me over on Instagram or TikTok at Mom Identity Project.