She Started a Business 6 Months Pregnant, Went Bankrupt, and Built It Anyway with Laura Aura (E87)

The Mom Who Went Bankrupt, Raised a Velcro Baby, and Still Found Her Way Back to Herself with Laura Aura

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[00:00:00] Most of us have been told at some point that we can't have it all. And maybe that's true, maybe it isn't. But what if the real question isn't whether you can have it all? It's whether you're brave enough to admit when something you built no longer fits. If you've ever felt stuck between who you were, who you were supposed to be and who you're becoming, this episode is for you. Hi. I am Krissy. I'm a stay at home mom to two little boys, and this is Mom's Guide to Finding Herself.

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes not from doing too much, but from ignoring the voice inside of you that keeps whispering that something needs to change. Today's guest knows that feeling intimately, and she has built an entire life around finally listening to it. Laura Aura is a keynote speaker, a personal growth coach, and the host of the Gutsy podcast, and her story is one that kind of just stops you in your tracks.

She has lived through the kind of seasons that would make a lot of us fold, and somehow through [00:01:00] all of it, she never lost sight of who she was underneath it, all how she held onto herself is what we're really here to talk about today. Let's get into it.

Krissy: Laura Aura, thank you so much for here with me today.

LauraAura: My gosh. Thanks for having me. I appreciate you.

Krissy: I am so excited to hear about your journey to motherhood because it's one that I think so many moms can resonate with, but maybe are afraid to take some of the next steps that you did.

So, before we get there, I wanna first hear, who were you before you became a mom?

LauraAura: Wow. That's what a great question. Who was I before I became a mom, I was a graphic designer. I designed ads for Wait for it, the phone book.

Krissy: The most Literally the most exciting job you could ever possibly have. Um, I was already a wife. I was a 21-year-old trying to figure out my life [00:02:00] Yep.

LauraAura: I was, um, still navigating. Hadn't even began to think about, um, unpacking my childhood or the things that I grew up with, or the things that had shaped me into the responses and the reactivity that I was running my life out of. So I was a little bit of a mess before I was a mom, to be honest with you. Dr. Driven. Driven. Very driven.

I've always been very driven, but but a bit of a mess. Still navigating a lot of life.

Krissy: Yeah, especially at 21, like who isn't a mess at 21? Nevermind. And is that when you had your child or were you a little bit older? Like, where's the transition here?

LauraAura: I was 22 when I had him. So not, not much older. Yeah. So, um, my husband and I consciously decided that we wanted to have a family. Um, we decided we

wanted to do it early. We were just, we just felt ready. Um, got pregnant within three months, so very fortunate in

that way. [00:03:00] And, uh, yeah, I became a, a, a young mom very quickly and it's, it's wild because I became a mom

and a business owner. At the same time. So we can talk about that if you'd like to. But yeah, I was, I was, I was a young mama, but it was, but it was my choice. I don't know. And it's kind of cool. Now, fast forward, uh, he's 18, so I'm, I'll be 41 tomorrow at time of recording at,

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: there's a, a whole new chapter of life here. It worked out the way it was supposed to

Krissy: Amazing. Wow. Yeah, I am, um, on the other end of that spectrum, 40 and my kids are three and four,

LauraAura: Okay. All right. it's, it's really being in my seat and having friends just like you who had kids. At a younger age, and now they're graduating high school and moving on. Th and I, and it happened yesterday, like they just had these babies.

Krissy: So it just puts it in a different perspective, having my babies. But let's talk about your business here. So you decided to leave your job at [00:04:00] the phone book and start a business while you were pregnant,

LauraAura: While I was six and a half months pregnant, I put in my two weeks notice. Oh yeah, girl. Yeah, girl. I, I, I was like all the way at the end and I was, you know, it was just, I, I learned very quickly what I did not want, and I'll tell you what the. What really made me say, Hmm, okay, we're, we're not gonna do this, was, I was so excited to go in and tell my boss and it was

met with the most disappointing response I've ever experienced, and I was like. That's not cool. Not cool at all. And it just changed the way that I felt going to work. It changed the way that I felt about the company. It changed the way I felt about the office, and I'm like, I, I don't wanna be in a place that doesn't celebrate women and their life choices. You know, you don't have to agree with me. To be, to be, to be supportive. You don't have to understand why I wanna have a child at such a young [00:05:00] age to be

like, okay, cool. What do you need? You know, it was, it was just, it was

gross. And I had already been freelancing on the side, so I was a graphic designer. Um, I had a couple of clients and I thought, well, why not? Like, why, why couldn't I do this? Let me, let me just try. So I took, I, I took my vacation, like overnight. I called in, I was like, Hey, next week I'm taking a vacation and for a week, for a week, I pretended to be a business owner. Like I got my laptop out from my couch. I set up file folders from Staples on my coffee table.

Like I, you know, like I played business lady, and I was, I, I just wanted to feel what it felt like to

be a business owner and to be able to

make my own schedule and do my own thing. And I was like, you know, I think I could probably do this. Like I like the freedom, I like

the flexibility. This human's about to come outta me at some point.

Like, I think we can do this. And I went back that next week and put in my notice.

Krissy: Amazing. What an [00:06:00] incredible Yeah, to use your vacation to just live in it, to feel what it might feel like now.

You weren't just deciding to step into, you were also starting mother. journey.

LauraAura: I know

reality and expectations very different. Can we talk for a minute about what your expectations were of what this might look like these two roles starting out at the same time and coexisting?

Yeah. Well, I mean, naturally I thought I'd have it all together.

Krissy: Sure.

LauraAura: I thought, you know, getting clients would be easy.

I thought running a business would be easy. I thought, you know, I, I, I raised my brother and sister, so I know what I'm doing there. You know what I mean? Totally different game. I mean, it was a hot mess express. Um, I had no idea what I was doing in either capacity, you know what I mean?

I, I, I've always envisioned myself as, you know, fairly smart and intelligent and savvy and, you know, I can navigate all kinds of stuff and, and figure things out, [00:07:00] and that was just such a thick. Part of life where I was like, I don't know if I'm cut out for this mother motherhood or business ownership. Wow.

Krissy: Wow. you put the two together and I was like, it was wild.

Right. And one of those decisions is extremely permanent. Where is the other one? Not so So tell me, what what would the reality ended up being like? So you started the business, did you have success while you were still Um, I mean, I had some stuff get off the ground. Uh, success, I mean, we can use that term loosely. Um, Absolutely.

LauraAura: it, it, it wasn't nothing, I'll, I'll put it that

way. So, you know, I, I added a few clients. I built out a website painfully 'cause I had no idea what I was doing. Um, graphic design and web design are not the same thing, by the way. Two totally different animals. Um, you know, I, I think I had some pretty, pretty okay success and then I. [00:08:00] Man, I tell you what the, the universe was like, hold on, we, we gotta add a little bit more in here. So my husband was the breadwinner at that, at that point in our, in

our life. And I was working at my mother-in-law's house because I was really lonely. Like, I'm like, oh, I realized working by yourself, you're alone a lot. And so I was working at her house, it's the middle of the afternoon. My husband worked 45 minutes away, and at 12 30, 1 o'clock, he walks through her door. I'm like, oh.

why are you here? What, what's wrong? And he had a look on his face and he's like, babe, I just got fired.

Krissy: Oh, no,

LauraAura: I'm like, what? This was in 2007. So when the housing market crashed, he was he was an architectural draftsman. Um, his job was not needed. So they laid off, they fired, you know, half the team in one in one go. And, uh. All of a sudden we had no income and [00:09:00] a baby about to come in to the world. And so everything just got very real, very quickly.

And I'm like, do I go back to work? Do I do this, do I that? And like, you know, we're, we're questioning everything that's going on. And, uh, it was the beginning of a really, really tough cycle. I mean, he was in and outta jobs for years. I mean, his craft

just was not necessary when people were not building or buying.

People don't need draftsmen, you know, like, um, we went on Cobra Insurance. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that, is, yeah,

Krissy: yeah. yeah.

LauraAura: That's a giant scam and a half. Mm-hmm. it

was either pay, you know, at that time, 800 bucks a month for insurance or, you know, pay for birth outright out of pocket. birth, birth, yes.

birth birth, with a capital B. Um, so you know, we're on this incredibly expensive insurance, which now actually fast forwarding, I'm like, oh, that was actually not too bad, but convers conversation for another day. [00:10:00] Right.

Krissy: Right.

LauraAura: Um. You know, we we're, we're on this incredibly expensive insurance. We've got this brand new baby coming into this world right now.

My husband has no job, and I just started a business. What? Yep. why I

said it was wild. And, and it, it was, it was years. Ultimately, we ended up filing bankruptcy. I talked pretty openly about that, um, because I think it's important to have those vulnerable conversations about real things that people experience. You know, we, we,

just couldn't sustain. You know, a, a brand new business and a no income husband at the same time. Yeah.

was, it was rough. It was rocky. All the while, you know, we're like learning how to, you know, keep this human alive. And he, but he was such a joy. He, he brought in so much love and light and smiles in a really, really dark time. Yeah.

my my husband lost his grandfather during that season. You know, like our son. Just, he was the light [00:11:00] and, and, he helped us through that. He has, you know, he, he was just a little, little baby man. He, he had no idea what he was doing. He was just being himself, but he, he

really healed us in a lot of ways.

Krissy: That's so magical to hear. I mean, because

LauraAura: How long are you through all this and losing a job, losing all your income, you don't have a nest egg either. Like, let's remember you were 22, Exactly. there was no emergency slash fund waiting for you in the wings. Like at the beginning of it all. Yeah, And then to have this little baby, ugh, that's I should see here that he was a light in and I'm sure that's mixed.

Krissy: With so many other feelings too. But I'm glad that you're at least remembering is the light that he brought to you through it all. Like that's the feeling that that continued with you. Now, how did being a mom at the start of this entrepreneurship journey impact that [00:12:00] journey? I, I'm sure he wasn't just laying in his bassinet, cooing while you were doing your work.

LauraAura: In fact, the first year of his life, he hated being anywhere other than in my arms. So, um, I nursed for a year, um, which meant I was on demand, you know how that goes. And, uh, he hated sleep. He hated being anywhere other than with me. And so we learned how to co-create life together. Um, you know,

we, we, we slept in the same bed.

Uh, I know there's lots of, you know, differencing different opinions about that. I think you have to do and trust what's, what's right for you in that season for us that worked. Um, I, I can remember distinctively him nursing on one side and my laptop being on the other. You know what I mean? Like

there was just no other option.

I'm like, okay, if I'm gonna be, if we're gonna be one person again,

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: um, and I still have to do this thing, then we're gonna have to learn how to like [00:13:00] create this space together. So it was, it was challenging to say the least,

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: but it, it ended up working. And I think that's one of the, one of the tough things, especially when you're in the thick of it, is like. It does work out, but in those moments it

feels impossible. It feels isolating. It feels

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: like, how am I ever going to, and I think one of the biggest things that I had to keep asking myself is like, is this what you want? Yeah. I mean?

Like the, I had to want the business just as much as I had to want to be a mother. And I wanted both of those things. And something that's always been very, very important to me is keeping my own identity. In addition to being a mother, like I've never identified as a mother first, and I know that sounds a little off to some people, but like before I was anything to anybody, I was Laura

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: and Laura has goals and [00:14:00] aspirations and desires and things that she loves to do, and I'm just not willing to sacrifice such a big important part of myself to only be something else.

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: I

will also say though, that sometimes that stuff does, like the time and the space for those things have gotten narrow.

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: You know, it's not always been as big, it's not always been as wide or as flexible, so I've had to put some things in the back burner, but I also consciously chose to do that, right? Like when I went

into this, I'm like, I want to be there for as many, if not all

milestones of my son as possible. Like being there for him is so important to me. It's a non-negotiable, but also being a career woman is non-negotiable. So I chose a hard path, but. I wanted it and I put in the

work and my life reflects that now. Do you know what I mean? So there was a lot that I went in there, into there, but I, I just think it's important to, to know, [00:15:00] like if there's a part of you that you want to still express, you might have to, it might have a narrow window, it might have a smaller space, but don't let it go completely. Because if it's in you and it's for you, you gotta breathe life into it at some point.

Krissy: That's so powerful because we know when you have that gap, when you have that feeling, and that doesn't always. Happen. You don't ha and, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with you. If you're sitting there thinking, I don't, I'm, I'm happy the way life is great. I am so happy for you. If you're there sitting thinking, Ugh, I, I wish, I wish there was something, I, I'm longing for something.

There's ways to make it happen. Now I can heavily relate. To the Velcro baby, and I wanna speak to just very

LauraAura: quickly, because I'm a huge advocate for

Krissy: at

LauraAura: least learning how to safely coach

Krissy: because there

LauraAura: our science. ways

Krissy: to

LauraAura: safety. Safety that I recommend. If you are pregnant, to have a pregnant friend, buddy. just learn it whether or not

Krissy: plan to do it or [00:16:00] not, because.

You might,

LauraAura: and you're not

gonna

learn it

Krissy: 2:00 AM so just a quick plug for that. But let's talk about the practicality.

LauraAura: What kind of

Krissy: of

LauraAura: things

Krissy: did you learn about becoming or being an entrepreneur with a Velcro child, with a

LauraAura: Velcro

Krissy: That our audience might benefit from learning?

LauraAura: you know, gosh, I gotta, I gotta go back in the Rolodex of time here. You know, I think I learned that I have to be adaptable.

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: I have to be adaptable. Like I just had to let go of the expectation of my schedule and how things were gonna go and how much time I was gonna have to do things because,

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: he made my schedule

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: that,

I mean, that's just how it

was.

And there were times where like, I would have calls scheduled and he'd be screaming or I'd be on a phone call and he'd wake up from a nap and it, you know, I think the other thing I learned is just own it as a human. I think now [00:17:00] fast forward post COVID, I think people are way more open to this now, more than ever, but just saying, Hey, I need a minute.

You know, if you're on a phone call with somebody or you're doing something, you know, I gotta grab my kiddo. I need to support somebody in my house. Like I think just owning it. Instead of hiding it, you know, so long women have been expected to be these like superior humans, which we are by the way, but we don't

need to be 24 hours a

day. But people have expected women to be these superior humans and also like not have any like. Distractions

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: not have any moments where they need a pause. Like, no, no, we're

not doing that. We, we, we can do this and do that, but we also need to be in a second, like in between things, but we also have to own that.

So I

think just having that honest conversation, being human about what's going on, asking for what you need. Gosh, I learned that very quickly, the hard way. You gotta speak up. You gotta ask for what

you need. [00:18:00] And if you don't know what you need, that's an okay ask too. Hey, I need

something. I have no idea what it is.

Krissy: Right,

LauraAura: Have, have.

Krissy: let's crowdsource this.

LauraAura: Let's have the conversation with trusted people that have your back, you know, the people that continuously show up for you. Um, I know that, uh, that that's not always a wide audience. Sometimes it's a very few select people, if any. So be very conscious about who you're asking for help with and for who you're talking to about your challenges. Um, you know, there, there are really great people in the world, and if you don't have them immediately in your world, uh, you can take to social media. There are, there are groups, there are support systems. There are places that you can call and join in. So please do not do this shit alone. Um, I think I did that for a long time. Um, I did not realize that I had postpartum depression, um, fairly severely, um, until one day I was like, oh, I don't even know who I am.

I don't want any of this. What [00:19:00] is wrong with me? Like, why am I thinking about leaving? You know what I mean? Like, that's not quote unquote, normal to feel. So I learned to not do it alone. That that help is actually, um, asking for help rather, is a sign of strength and courage, not of weakness. So couple, couple things that can come to mind.

Krissy: those are really important things.

LauraAura: Another

thing I

think

Krissy: have firsthand knowledge of, is

it

LauraAura: being

able to

Krissy: reflect on what's working?

And

LauraAura: it isn't, and then making,

Krissy: decisions, based on what you, what

LauraAura: buying

Krissy: what you find within yourself. Tell me

LauraAura: about your experience with Yeah, I, yeah, been quite a few of those. What's working? What's

not making some decisions? Yeah. So I ran that business for 16 years. Um, I loved it until I did not.

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

LauraAura: And I'd be, I'm a huge advocate for learning how to trust yourself, [00:20:00] to listen to the cues of what your body's telling you to feel. The nudges and the pools and the the like. Hmm. The, you know, there's something there, but we we're afraid to admit it because

what's on the other side

of that is change.

Krissy: Yeah.

LauraAura: out of our comfort zone, having to follow through with said idea or, or shift in our life. And, you know, I did everything that I wanted to in that business. I, I, I grew it to something fantastic. We had a lot of challenges along the way. We had a lot of success along the way.

We, I learned a lot of lessons.

We had a lot of wins, you know, like it, it was what it was and it was time to transition. And

what really kind of spearheaded this whole internal conversation was I had already been speaking by this point, um, nothing formal and certainly not getting paid yet. Um, someone had asked me to speak at a women's event and I was like, normally I'm all in.

Yep, let's do this. And they asked me to speak about branding. And I [00:21:00] could feel my body like, like shrink, like pull back.

Like, like there's something in me where I'm like, Ooh, like, that feels gross. And I was like, uhoh,

Krissy: yeah.

LauraAura: uhoh,

what's, what's going on here? And I, and I sat with that for a little while. I'm like, I'm just gonna get to know that I, I turned, I ultimately turned down that opportunity because

I just did not want to be known as a speaker that talked about branding.

I was, I

was, I didn't realize it yet, but I was finished with branding. Um, fast forward a little bit, our biggest client, their contract was ending and I didn't wanna

replace them. I found

myself not

marketing my business on social media as much as I used to. You know, like

I just, there was no drive, there was no pool.

I wasn't planning

for the next year. Like it was just, and I'm like, it's done. It's done. And so I had, um, a really fantastic epic meltdown. Where I, um, admitted to myself that I didn't want to do this anymore, called my husband. He came into my office where [00:22:00] I was at the time. Um, I let out just this, this huge whale of a cry and I was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

And he said, okay, what's next? And so that was July of 2023. I decided I was gonna sell the agency. By

that December it

was sold. And,

uh, and haven't looked back. So I've left the industry completely, um, and moved on to be a full-time public speaker and coach. So, yeah, I, I'm, I'm no, no stranger to making gutsy moves, which is what my, my whole brand and my whole spiel is about is, is, um, making the bold moves that you can't stop thinking about, but keep putting off.

Krissy: That's amazing. Now, not all of us can relate to

LauraAura: realizing that the business isn't for us

Krissy: or transitioning, but

LauraAura: or

Krissy: all

LauraAura: always relate to that feeling of

when

something

just isn't

Krissy: right, when

LauraAura: what you feel,

Krissy: or

LauraAura: what you re

Krissy: dreamed

LauraAura: that

Krissy: would be or how life might be isn't [00:23:00] meshing the way you thought it would.

LauraAura: And we feel

Krissy: many things around that. Some of it's excitement,

But a lot of

LauraAura: it is those feelings of like,

should be doing this, or more counting on to continue with this, or to be this certain way, or to be this person.

Krissy: And that's hard.

LauraAura: Yeah, it's a, it's a sticky place to be

because now you're caught in between what you want and what you feel like you have to, or should continue. And, and you're right, you know, if it's, if a business doesn't relate to you, this can happen in any aspect of your life. Something that you're volunteering at, a relationship, you

know, a marriage, friendship, the job that you're in, the, an activity that you've committed to.

Krissy: Right.

LauraAura: I mean?

A party that you've said yes to, what you've ordered at lunch with a group of people. I mean it like can literally boil down to sometimes the most simplistic [00:24:00] things in life when you're like, something feels off. Or I don't like this anymore. Or, you know, I, I feel like I'm done, but I don't feel like I'm allowed to be done.

Or my

personal favorite is, you know, I've put so much time and energy into this, how could I

possibly rock the boat? And that's where we get caught a lot of is, you know, I, I don't, I don't want to change things, but also I'm miserable or I'm unsettled, or I'm unhappy, or I'm unfulfilled. And

we end up

Settling Settling for things

that are no longer ours and maybe were never ours to begin with.

Krissy: Wow. That's an incredible way to say it for sure. I hope that you'll come back next week because we need to dive into this a lot deeper

LauraAura: for the moms who are listening today.

You got it. I'll be here.

Krissy: Great. Thank you so much for joining me today.

LauraAura: Yeah, thanks for having me. Let's do it again.

If this conversation resonated with you, share with the mom friend who needs to hear it, because the best thing we can do [00:25:00] for each other is remind each other that we're not doing this alone. And if you haven't already, hit follow or subscribe wherever you're listening, so you never miss an episode.

And then scroll down and leave a five star rating and a review while you're at it.

Now don't go anywhere because in the next episode, Laura, or is coming back and we're going deeper because here's the thing, a lot of us aren't stuck because we don't know what we want. We're stuck because of everything we're telling ourselves about why we can't have it. The noise, the doubt. The voice that talks you out of your best ideas before you even get started.

She has a name for it and next week she's going to help you do something about it. You don't wanna miss it. Until then, take a moment for yourself and remember, you are an amazing mom just the way you are.