Protecting the Things That Keep You Grounded as a Mom with Krystle Howald (E75)

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[00:00:00] What happens when the Energizer bunny becomes a mom? When the woman who climbed mountains and launched a business finds herself buried under diapers and carpool logistics, and a deep craving for freedom, she can't quite name anymore.

Today I'm talking to Krystle Howald, a physical therapist, co-founder of Expecting and Empowered, and a three time c-section mom about her own shift into motherhood. From chasing adventure, to managing monotony, from people pleasing to setting real standards. Krystle gets honest about what it took to find herself again in the chaos of early motherhood, if you've ever felt like you lost yourself in the mix of being a good mom, this episode is for you.

My name is Krissy Bold. I'm a stay at home mom to two little boys, and this is Mom's Guide to Finding Herself.

Today I get to introduce you to someone who is real and funny and deeply grounded in both science and mom life. Krystle Howald. Krystle's. Been a physical therapist for over 13 years, treating hundreds of pregnant and postpartum women through her clinic [00:01:00] empowered movement.

She is also the co-creator of Expecting and Empowered an app and resource that helps women move safely and confidently through pregnancy and recovery. But what I love most about Krystle is how she marries her deep professional knowledge with her real life experience, because she's not just a physical therapist, she is a mom of three who had her babies close together and found herself like so many of us.

Completely overwhelmed. She's someone who once lived for spontaneity and freedom and had to learn how to redefine those things inside the grind of motherhood. In this episode, we're talking about what it means to let go of the pressure to do it all, how to protect your peace and why finding your standards, not just your boundaries can change everything.

Let's get into it.

Krissy: Krystle

Thank you so much for joining me today. I am so excited to talk to you.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I am excited to be here. I'm obsessed with your podcast, so I can't wait to spill the Dets on my own side. [00:02:00] Hustle Mom, life,

Krissy: This is amazing because I'm also obsessed with you. Your content that you put out is just hilarious. It, it speaks to me directly. I think you, your sense of humor is so similar to mine. So this is

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I.

Krissy: a fun episode to listen to. So before we talk about your side hustle, your journey, that thing, I wanna hear about you personally as a mom.

So me what was your life like before you had kids?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Well, I've always been somebody that loves exploring, doing like crazy things, like I don't even like heights, but I had a bungee jump. I love climbing mountains. I went to PT school in Denver. Um, so it was just like very dynamic. I can't sit still very well, and my friends used to call me the Energizer Bunny in PT school, so I just like have a lot of gas in the tank to burn.

I used to. That's no, no. Longer true now, but I just do well, like with [00:03:00] freedom, like so being able to roam the planes. I am Native American, so it might be the Native American side of me, but just love having that freedom. I.

Krissy: Amazing. So what a contrast to what your life might be like now. So tell me what was your journey to motherhood like? You, you met your husband, how did you meet him?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I met him in the gym. We both went to the University of Iowa, and so he had a Hawkeye shirt on and I was like. Oh, did, were you a Hawkeye? Wink, wink. He was playing basketball and I was a personal trainer at the time. That's like the logical thing you do before you go to PT school. So I was trying to get people in shape.

I wasn't probably in shape myself at that point, but I, um, met him at the gym and then we. It took him eight years to like lock me down. I was ready before that, but that's how long it took.

Krissy: That's

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : And then I know, right? I did live, like we lived, um, apart [00:04:00] when I was in PT school, which was fun. Uh, but so then we had three kids, Brooke.

She's now eight. Avery. Avery is right behind her at seven and then Camden's six. I got them so close. I'm like a dog in Kentucky getting bred over and over again by choice.

Krissy: I love that my kids are really close with age too. Mostly because my reasoning was if I don't do this now, I might never do this again.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Y. Yes. I kind of wanted to get through the like front phase and I come from a family of six, so Amy, my sister, who also owns expecting and empowered with me,

Krissy: Yep.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : and then my brother Andrew, like we just had a ball and we were close in age, so I kind of just tried to replicate that and I did a good job doing it.

Krissy: Amazing. Did you know he always wanted to be a mom?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yes, in PT school, you know, like the superlatives in high school you got, we got those in PT [00:05:00] school too.

Krissy: fun.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : And one of mine I think was like, would love to get treated by just probably most fruit for the sense of humor, but I am a good PT too. Um, and then, uh, would leave your kid to be babysat with

Krissy: Oh,

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : that.

One of my girlfriends in PT school actually, um, well she was married, but she ended up having a kid. And I loved playing with Cole when we were there, but I could give him back like it was. So, and I, I grew up nannying. Um, and I love, I love him, especially when you can give him back, you know,

Krissy: Oh my gosh. That is adorable. Where are you located?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I'm in Wisconsin

Krissy: Okay, so anyone who needs a babysitter in Wisconsin

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Exactly.

Krissy: Send them to your, your crazy crew

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Send them to the clinic.

Krissy: Yes. Send them to Krystle. Send them to the clinic. That's gonna be amazing. I love this for you as a second like sub business. We're gonna

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Oh my God.

Krissy: for you

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I don't actually [00:06:00] like, my patience level is like, on the outside it looks like a 10. Like it looks like I'm pretty patient on the inside. It's a two. So now that my, now that I actually have kids, my patient on the outside is probably more like a five. Like it's not as good as it.

Krissy: It

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : So maybe don't send up if you want like the gentle parenting.

Krissy: I love that. Oh my gosh, yes. Who you think you're gonna be versus who you actually are after you have kids, can be so different. So you were living this lifestyle where you were full of energy going and doing all of these wild things, and then all of a sudden you had kids and pretty close together back to back.

How was that transition for you?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I feel like with the first, it was hard because I literally, and I had started a PT clinic before I had Brooke and that did well and I love being, I still love being in my clinic. I'm a, like, yesterday I had a full day of patients. I. And they just bring me so much joy. I learn so much from my [00:07:00] patients, like.

They're like my friends. One time a therapist told me I like needed some friends and I was like, I have a ton of 'em. They just pay me like to work on their butts and backs and you know, pelvic floors, it's fine. Um, but, but then I had Brooke and that was hard because then I had to create some structure that freedom that I like once.

So like, okay, I'll go to the gym after work, or I'll do X, Y, and Z after work. I'll go to a marketing event. That was hard when I had Brooke, which sounds pathetic, but as a mom, I actually had to write in, because I'm a, I am a reform people pleaser. I like to say I used to be very people pleasing. Like if somebody asked to get on my schedule, I'm like, of course.

I will stay here till 10:00 PM at night to see you.

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : wouldn't I? And now actually I'm not. That's why I'm not allowed to control my own schedule. 'cause I still would do that a little bit. But at that time I had to like literally write like [00:08:00] Brooke into my schedule. Like I'd like write it down. So I knew like, listen, if you move your four o'clock end time.

You are like not gonna see your kid, you are going to be at the clinic. 'cause I love to do both of 'em. Um, so it was hard to adjust that way.

Krissy: That makes so much sense, and I can see it. I, I can relate to what you're saying, like you have to almost see that visual because you get sucked in, you get

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yeah.

Krissy: into what you're doing. So that way it's almost like everything else in the universe doesn't exist. But to have that visual on your calendar, that was such a smart move.

So when did you start to learn in your journey that you needed to stop this people pleasing and work on that side of yourself? Was it really early

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Uh,

Krissy: was it later on?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : it was probably like when I had my third, so then we had Avery and, um, I was severely overwhelmed

Krissy: yeah,

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : like at, uh, the like daily tasks. I just like, don't like monotony, so the like. Feeding [00:09:00] them the diaper changing like that to me, I love taking them on adventures, like getting out of the house, going to the park.

I'm very good at that. Or staying like present. I thought I was like a really good COVID mom. 'cause I had like a schedule that I like, okay, we have outside time, then it's nap time. And then they went back to school and learned everything that I taught them and like, well, however many months we were at home.

Like a week. And I was like, okay, I probably should stick to what I'm good at. Um, so then I had Avery, and when Camden was born, that's when like I kind of reached my threshold 'cause I, on the outside was trying to act like I could do everything and I wasn't annoyed with people, especially probably my husband.

And then I just realized like. I can't do everything and be super mom. And so that's when I actually started learning the people pleasing, which is Camden six. But it probably took me a couple years after him to [00:10:00] like really start getting better. I like to call him standards instead of boundaries.

Boundaries is like a negative word and it seems so diva-ish and so I like to say standards like my standards.

Krissy: I love that

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : For, for my life. 'cause that's like a higher level

Krissy: Yeah,

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : So, um, I've gotten better at standards. I still, I actually kind of like to be a people pleaser to be honest. Like, I like to make people happy. So I don't think that part will ever fully go away, but at least, I'm like living my design, protecting my peace a little bit more.

And so it's still a work in progress. It will be till I die.

Krissy: Oh, absolutely. That's this. This is the journey that we are on is always evolving and figuring out who we are, and then eventually you'll be in a different phase of your life where you can go back to working as long as you want and doing all those things. If it's making you happy, you might as well.

Right. So I see what you were saying about like going on the adventures. You seem like the mom who's [00:11:00] like, let's go, but then you realize you have to pack the snack bag and the diaper bag and you're like, Ugh, wait a minute.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yes. It's not so much packing. It's like the cleaning up. I hate cleaning, cleaning up this stuff. So when you guys have talked about like the sensory bins and like, you know, making packets, I was like, I'll be your first customer to buy those suckers. 'cause I don't wanna have to do all this stuff. And then if I can put it back in a nice little neat container you sent me, I can do that.

Krissy: That is amazing. I absolutely love that. So you've practiced a lot, you were saying about you're setting your standards. I love that reframe. I think that's really great. But let's talk about anchoring. You've, you mentioned anchoring yourself in presence, and you've mentioned letting go of expectations. So I wanna hear about what kinds of expectations you've had for yourself outside of maybe the work expectations that you've had to relax and let go and change.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yeah, I [00:12:00] think with the kids, my trickiest thing is, so my husband,

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I don't know. Sometimes people don't like know all of these like words, but he's a Virgo. So Virgos are very meticulous. They're anal retentive. I actually need him because I'm the exact. Opposite. I like, I shouldn't say that. In work I'm very meticulous.

I'm not like, I literally

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : know everything. I'm very anal retentive. But when it comes to like the home life, I have a harder time organizing the family.

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I'm good at stuff that I like to be good at. So like for example, we just went to the Pacific Northwest, we went to Vancouver Island. It was beautiful.

I did the whole itinerary and I packed happily. 'cause then I could go on an adventure. But it's like the day to day stuff. Like I don't wanna like put your dishes in the dishwasher or that kind of stuff.

Krissy: That makes a lot of [00:13:00] sense. So you've had to kinda work with him to figure out this balance of your life, of like, not just starting something but wrapping it up, finishing it, and getting all the things done and get through the monotony. So how do you work through those challenges with each other to, to make it happen?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I think we've gotten a lot better as we've gotten older as parents at communicating like so we'll have like a little check-in at the beginning of the week. I can always tell the weeks that we don't like, we're so busy, we skip it and then. This week was one of 'em. And then we'll like start to be, like you said you had, he works for Aldi Foods,

Krissy: Okay.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : had a grand opening of a new Aldi store, which was beautiful.

But then I also had an 8:00 AM patient and I was like, okay, who is going to watch these kids for the 20 minutes that we are uncovered? You know? So we have these little check-ins. And then two, I think. For him. Sometimes he's gotta come my way a little bit. Like we don't have to have [00:14:00] everything perfect, which just kills him inside.

So then two, I will take charge of like certain things that I know are messy. So for example, my kids are older now, so they're running around to volleyball into horse. I actually grew up and we grew up in athletics. Me and Amy. And I love doing it. I love taking them. I love seeing 'em. I love spiking a ball at them right before volleyball practice starts, see if they're get 'em ready to dig, you know?

So I don't mind doing that, but I know for his nervous system it's like easily thrown off. So then he stays home and he's a great cook and he like makes dinner. And does those things on the home front. So almost like figuring out what your strengths are. 'cause for a long time too, he's like wanted me to be good at the same things.

And I was like, that doesn't work for us. Like I'm not good. I'm good at like play when the kids are getting tired and the patience is running out. Like I can like joke around. My dad was amazing at [00:15:00] that. My dad is so playful, so I'm not even as good as he is, but he like would. He can play and entertain.

And so it's like let's fight our shrinks instead of like same team. I saw this one, um, Instagram story, one time of a husband and wife getting on a flight and the husband was like knuckling her like, same team before we do this, like same team. So I like think about them. They're some random person that I have no idea who they are, but sometimes I think same team knuckles.

Krissy: Yes. That's such a powerful way to start something when you're going together because we know we're on the same team. But to, to start it that way, to say that we're on the same team, like when you're ready to go to something stressful, like it just sets the tone. It remind you that that's the case and that's the intention of whatever you're doing.

So I love that. Now I am a big fan. finding little pockets of time to do the things, and I know you are too. So can you tell me how you [00:16:00] have reframed your journey of your own personal life, of finding your own joy, your own pieces, your own po passion projects within little pockets of your, your day?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yeah, I think when they're little it is extremely hard. And then so I think just almost setting like habits, like the Atomic Habits book

Krissy: Hmm.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : is a great example of this, but almost setting time. I feel like I. It's weird because when they're little you set time. So it's almost like more rigid time, but also, which seems counterintuitive, learning to be a little bit flexible.

So what I mean by that is like my kids, when they were little, for me, exercise has always been a non-negotiable. I was like, I met you in the gym, you know? You should know what's up like this. And I think he kind of knows I'm my best self when I move,

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : is to be honest.

Krissy: Right. I

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : so he respects that as well.

So I'd be like, [00:17:00] okay, when I put Avery down for a nap, do you mind playing with Brooke?

Krissy: Mm.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : During that time, so I can go outside and I actually physically, if I, I'm an outdoor exerciser. I love being outside. Part of it is I can't hear my kids screaming on the inside of the house as much, and then I'll put headphones in.

So like when they were little, I'd put the headphones in so I couldn't really hear them at all. Like, 'cause otherwise, like my mom instinct would be like, oh my God, he. He's so annoying. What is he doing? All he needs to do is like walk her around or like pat her on the back. You know, like you, your mom brain wants to take over.

So I would create these rigid times in my schedule. Like, okay, I'm going to work out every single weekend during nap time. That's like when I'm gonna use my reset for the afternoon. I'm gonna tell you, as they get bigger, it gets way easier. Like now I got a six, seven, and 8-year-old to like find pockets of time, so it's not as bad as it [00:18:00] once was.

Like, I have a lot of freedom back, like once they get over like five, six-ish, like where they're, they're more can be independent and then you're not worried about them dying or doing something crazy.

Like jumping off the counter. Yeah.

Seriously then, then I feel like it does get easier to find those pockets. But when they're little, it is hard.

It's a rigid time. And then being flexible, so like if one of 'em woke up and they're like supposed to be napping, like internally, my brain would be like, oh my God, dang it.

Krissy: right?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : And then I'm like, okay, we can figure this out. I can put 'em back down. Or even if I moved for 10 minutes, that's better than nothing.

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : And I might just have to scrap this today or come back to it later.

Krissy: That's such a powerful reframe too that I love talking about is like five minutes is greater than zero. 10

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Mm-hmm.

Krissy: than zero. So if that's all you can do, if that's all you can fit in for, whatever that thing that you wanna work [00:19:00] on is do it. And. You're not gonna feel bad about the time you put in.

You might wish you had more, but that's a different story. So I wanna hear about some of the things that you've done now that your kids are getting older and you could fit more you time in. Um, how are you filling that time to make it meaningful for you?

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Um, I honestly kind of am like a workaholic. I love to work. I just love what I do. I'm like so blessed. Like I feel like I come to work every day and it doesn't honestly feel like a job. I. And like probably what I do mostly for myself is learning. Like I am constantly learning. I take PT courses, like kids like to eat Skittles, like it's crazy.

Line them up 'cause I'm taking 'em as long as they're good. If it's bad I don't. But um, so I do that. I also, um. Like have worked a lot on, I'm really big. When I started pt it was [00:20:00] so mechanical, so everything, you know, like a joint moves in a certain way. And then there were these woo woo PTs where I like, kind of like, would internally roll my eyes.

Amy has a good external eye roll. I, I don't show it on my face, but internal, it's like the patience thing internally.

Krissy: Yes. Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : I'm like, what the heck is this lady doing? But they were like connecting mind and body or could like read people's energy. I am now like the woo buoy PT where I just think that we're such complex individuals like our mind and our physical body.

I. Correlate so well we hold tension in our physical body. Sometimes that tension stops our mind from like functioning properly. So now I'm like one of those. So I've learned a lot more about mind. Enneagrams, astrology, human design. All of those things. 'cause then I'll sprinkle them in with patient sessions.

Um, so I do that and I've been [00:21:00] trying to be better about, I'm just like a nature lover. I literally can restore so much in, in nature. So what my current push is right now is being outside anywhere I can get outside, I'm outside.

Krissy: Yeah. That's so fun. I love your talking about the MINDBODY connection because it's so powerful, especially with pelvic floor pt. Um, because it is so connected. Like I, when I was in, I, my baby was almost 11 pounds my second baby, and I like, could barely walk towards the end. We wonder why. Um, and then afterwards I was getting my, my, my p my PT and my adductors were super tight.

Probably because they were holding my body together for a long time. So she's like, relax the, relax it. And I'm like, I not? Like, yeah. Is this not relaxed? And she's like, feel it. We're like, oh, yeah. Okay. That feels like, like a, like a string. Like a, like a actual

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Wait, I a hundred percent would [00:22:00] like bet a thousand dollars. It was your right side.

Krissy: It's my left.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Oh,

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : you a thousand dollars now.

Krissy: You, you can, I'll send you my address for a check or my Venmo fine.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Because the people that are over workers, it will typically be like their right side. And then people that, um, lack leisure, like, like calming down

Krissy: Yeah.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : or left side.

Krissy: Um, that's

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Were, were you in leisure during that time

Krissy: Well,

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : or were you maternal? Maternal side is that side, the left side.

Krissy: at the same time, so I think this is actually kind of physically driven 'cause I would still carry him on my left. So part of it I think is just like the fact that my left side was just like physically holding everything in my life together.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Yes, yes.

Krissy: So I think it was more that, but still like the mind body connection just to try to like tell my body. To fire [00:23:00] on or fire off. I don't know. This part, like it just wasn't working. So it takes a lot to it. So you've been doing so much personal development in this time and it's really reframed your practice, and I'm so excited to talk to you next week in the next episode about how this has impacted your practice, your whole outlook on movement and everything because. It's just amazing. So thank you so much today for being here with us today. Krystle, I really appreciate your time and getting to know you as a mom, you and a person. You're such a funny and life like your energy is so great. I love it.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : Thank you so much.

Krissy: So tell us where we can find you.

Krystle Howald, PT, DPT : We're out expecting and empowered on everything. So expecting and empowered on Instagram give us a follow. We try to share, even if you don't do the challenge and everything like. One of the things that I'm so passionate about, I actually never intended on treating vaginas to be honest. But what happened to [00:24:00] me is I took a course in PT school and that course every day, I was like, women need to know this so that they can make their own informed decisions about their body.

But if you don't know, you like can't do that. So on Instagram, we're. Always giving free information. So that's expecting an empowered tons of resources on there for everything. Incontinence, prolapse, round, ligament pain, everything. How to sleep during pregnancy. So give us a follow there. And then two, expecting an empowered.com is our website if you want to join in the app.

Krissy: Well definitely go and check those out because it really is a wealth of information. Whether or not you download the Expecting Empowered app or not, it will change your life with how you look at movement and how you look at your body. Thank you so much for being with us here today, Krystle.

If you can relate to Krystle's story, let me know by tagging me on Instagram at Mom Identity project.

Or if her story reminded you of a mom that you know, go ahead and share this episode with a friend.

You [00:25:00] can help the podcast find other moms just like you by following the show and leaving a quick reading and review.

Now don't go anywhere because in the next episode, Krystle is coming back to talk about what counts as movement. Because if you've ever told yourself it doesn't count, unless it's a 45 minute sweaty gym session, you need to hear this. We'll reframe how you think about strength, share, why the little moments of movement matter and talk about healing even years after postpartum.

Until then, take a moment for yourself and remember, you are an amazing mom just the way you are.