3 Insider Secrets to Avoiding Burnout in Motherhood with Michelle Grosser (E38)

Mom's Guide to Finding Herself
Written By Mom Identity Project

If you're feeling frazzled, worn out, and like you’re constantly playing catch-up—you're not alone. Burnout is real, and it’s something so many of us moms experience. It’s that exhausting cycle where every day feels like a mountain to climb, and no matter what you do, you can’t catch your breath. In a recent podcast episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Michelle Grosser, host of The Calm Mom Podcast, and she shared some incredibly valuable insights on how to recognize and heal from burnout. Here’s a breakdown of her practical advice, along with simple steps you can start today.

What Burnout Really Looks Like

Burnout is more than just being tired—it’s a complete overload of both your mind and body. Michelle reminds us that early signs like irritability, anxiety, or trouble resting are all clues from your body saying, "Hey, something needs to change." Recognizing these signs is the first step toward shifting out of burnout.

1. Simple Habits to Prevent Burnout

Michelle talks about three core habits that, when practiced consistently (even for just 10 minutes a day), can protect your energy and help you feel more like yourself again.

a. Move Your Body

It doesn’t have to be complicated. Whether you’re taking a brisk walk, dancing around the living room with your kids, or just doing some quick stretches, moving your body helps reset your nervous system. It’s a powerful way to release built-up stress and help you handle daily triggers with more ease.

b. Embrace Stillness

I know, it sounds impossible sometimes. But even just a few minutes of quiet during your day—whether it’s while commuting, doing chores, or just sitting with a cup of tea—can help you clear the mental fog and restore your sense of calm. Finding stillness doesn’t require a spa day, just small moments of peace.

c. Rediscover Play

Play isn’t just for kids—it’s for you too. When was the last time you did something just for fun? Reconnecting with hobbies or playful activities can shift your mental state in powerful ways. Whether it's painting, journaling, or something you’ve forgotten you love, bringing play back into your life can create a lighter, more positive atmosphere.

2. Bringing Joy Into Your Everyday

The beauty of these habits is they can involve your kids, too! Playful activities like dancing, playing outside, or even just sharing a laugh with them not only boosts your mood but also helps create healthy emotional habits for your children. It’s a win-win.

3. Reconnecting with Your Partner

Michelle also touches on a tough but important point: finding joy with your partner again. It can feel awkward, especially if you've been deep in survival mode for a while, but it’s crucial. Leaning into those uncomfortable moments and having open conversations can actually bring you closer. Emotional vulnerability with your partner is a shared growth experience that strengthens your relationship.

4. For Deeper Healing

If you’re feeling like burnout is more than just a rough patch, Michelle offers a free five-part podcast series called Heal Your Burnout. It’s a deep dive into understanding your burnout patterns and how to make sustainable changes. If you’re ready for deeper healing, this is a great place to start.

Final Thoughts

Motherhood is a beautiful, challenging journey that brings so much change—some of it joyful, some of it overwhelming. But it’s crucial to acknowledge and address the hard parts, too. By facing both the highs and lows of motherhood, we not only heal ourselves but also create a stronger foundation for the next generation.

Join the Community

Mama, you don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to take small but impactful steps toward prioritizing yourself, consider joining the More Than Mom community. You’ll find support, encouragement, and daily 10-minute challenges that will help you reclaim your joy and sense of self.

Remember, even the smallest steps can make a big difference. You are already an amazing mom—taking time to nurture your well-being will only make you even stronger. Let’s redefine what it means to be a thriving, fulfilled mom.

An Invitation for Moms Everywhere

If Michelle’s story hits close to home, she has so many resources to help you start your own journey. Her free 5-part podcast series, Heal Your Burnout, breaks down the signs of chronic stress and walks you through what healing can actually look like. It’s grounded, actionable, and deeply supportive—just like Michelle.

Connect with Michelle Grosser

Tune into The Calm Mom Podcast or head to michellegrosser.com to learn more. Michelle’s message is simple but powerful: You don’t have to do it all to be a great mom—and you deserve to feel like you again.

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the Mom's Guide to Finding Herself podcast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Ep. 2

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[00:00:00] If you are feeling frazzled and disconnected, I need you to know that there are three things you can do in just 10 minutes that can change your life. In the last episode, Michelle Grosser, the host of the Calm Mom podcast, shared with us her experience with burnout in early motherhood.

In this episode, she returns to share simple, practical steps that you can take to protect yourself from burnout and start feeling like yourself again.

We talk a lot about burnout, but what does it actually feel like? It's more than just being tired. I mean, for me, it was the sense of being caught in a loop, a relentless cycle where every day felt the same and the demands never stopped. I felt like I was reaching my limit, like my [00:01:00] capacity for things had completely maxed out.

But I didn't know how to stop. I didn't know how to get off of this crazy train. We learned so much in episode 34 from Dr. Morgan Cutlilp about the mental load, that invisible labor of planning and organizing that so often falls on moms. But what happens when you're not just carrying the mental load, but you're also deep in a cycle of taking on too much?

What happens when you're at the point of burnout? It's like your body is screaming for a break, but your mind can't find the off switch. If you've ever felt trapped in that cycle, that inability to slow down even when you're desperate for it this is the episode for you. Dr. Morgan taught us how we can share the load, but today we're continuing our conversation with Michelle Grosser who sheds light on what burnout is, but more importantly, how to heal from it.

Michelle is an attorney, a pastor, a nervous system expert, a [00:02:00] certified master life coach, and the host of the Calm Mom Podcast. She coaches women through discovering what's beneath their triggers and emotions so that way they can begin their healing journey and find peace in the present.

She understands that burnout isn't just a trendy word, it's a real state of imbalance that affects every aspect of our lives. So let's dive in and learn how to break free from the burnout cycle.

Krissy: Thank you so much, Michelle, for being here again this week. I am so excited to hear about. Burnout and whoever says that, right?

Michelle Grosser: oh, it's so good to be with you, Krissy. Thanks again for having me.

Krissy: So last week you told us all about your experience. With burnout, how you experience burnout and how you eventually found your way out. And you've have this wonderful, like I, it sounds like a picture perfect life right now. I'm sure it's not because life is not that way, but it sounds really cozy. And I wanna know from you, how are we going to heal our burnout?

I listened to your, your [00:03:00] mini podcast, your private podcast recently, and it truly is life changing. So tell me first, what exactly is burnout?

Michelle Grosser: Okay. I think when we think about burnout, we have to. Kind of have an understanding about the fact that we are all limited beings, right? And our body has a capacity, our mind has a capacity. The communication systems in our body, particularly between our gut and our brain, have a limited capacity. And when our body is at capacity, it will signal that to us, right? And there are symptoms that we will start to experience. So when we need. right? We know what it feels like to be tired. When we experience hunger cues, we understand that we need to put something in our belly before we get hangry.

Right there our body's always communicating with us. And the same is

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: we have reached a limit that's associated with what we now call, you know, burnout, [00:04:00] colloquially called burnout.

Krissy: Mm.

Michelle Grosser: So some of the earliest symptoms might be some mental and emotional symptoms that your body is reaching max capacity of what?

Of

Krissy: Okay.

Michelle Grosser: handle, right? So maybe you're

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Really easily overstimulated, right? All the

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: all the sounds and all the requests from the kids and notifications and the pings and the dings. Like it is just enough that it makes you feel like you're gonna snap. Maybe you've been feeling. Really irritable and edgy. Like you just wake up in the morning and you're just kind of in a sour mood, but like. You

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: why. You're just like, Ugh, I'm just kinda like, ugh, today. Maybe you are experiencing anxiety, maybe you're feeling really overwhelmed and maybe you are. You know, you, you know, you need to rest, but you're just so uncomfortable slowing down and you're always busy. Maybe you're hyper vigilant and you're someone who like, can go down the rabbit hole, or WebMD, or the Google or the chat GPT and like, you know, figure all this stuff out. These are all, you know, signs that our body is saying, Hey. [00:05:00] We're reaching max capacity, right? It's time to slow down. And we need, we need to rest.

We need to heal, we need to create space, whatever it is. And a lot of us don't know one, we, we don't really notice the symptoms. We just

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: to like, well, I'm just a mom and I'm tired and I'm working and

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: the things.

Krissy: Right. All the things.

Michelle Grosser: doing all the things. Of course,

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: course I

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: Right. And then there are also physical symptoms that that can come about. So, you know, chronic gut issues is, to me, that's always a red flag, that there's something going on as it relates to the state of our being. Chronic muscle tension, aches and pains that you can't really explain. Autoimmune conditions, sleep disorders, right?

If you're having a

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: been

Krissy: Sure.

Michelle Grosser: not [00:06:00] sustainable. You know, when that happens, once in a while, it's fine. Our, our body

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: right? Cortisol and adrenaline, and it sends us into a response so we can do what we gotta

Krissy: Yeah,

Michelle Grosser: through the hour or the

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: or the week, or what have you. When we are doing that. For six months or a year, or five

Krissy: Yep,

Michelle Grosser: or 10 years, it takes a toll on our body. And eventually, you know, our brain is like stress, stress, stress. And our body's like,

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: not releasing those hormones anymore. I'm not doing this anymore. Like the,

Krissy: Oh, I see.

Michelle Grosser: wears down and

Krissy: Yep,

Michelle Grosser: of a sudden, right, we crash and all of a sudden we can't get

Krissy: yep.

Michelle Grosser: energy anymore and we just feel. Like a shell of ourselves and we're kind of dissociated and disconnected and withdrawn and just kind of in this

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: feels really burnt out. And that's kind of what we call burnout.

Krissy: Yeah. Wow. So it's fascinating to hear you talking about the differences between just regular stress, like so much of what you said is relatable, like the [00:07:00] overstimulation. Sure. I experience that probably on a daily basis. Most of the time I can dress it by just turning something off. Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah.

Krissy: then that one piece is gone and my body's back to a regular state.

Whether it's that toy that needs new batteries or whatever, you just get rid of it. But then there's more chronic things like the migraines and, and everything else that you listed that. We know aren't normal and aren't just something you should live with, but we often do. So what can you do?

Let's just say in the day to day, when you're experiencing stress, what can you do to help yourself prevent it from getting to a problem state?

Michelle Grosser: Mm. Okay. So, such a good question. So there are three kind of foundational habits really that I teach my clients, that I do myself, that will go so far and helping you to protect yourself against this state of burnout. Of course there's like in the minute. In, in the moment things right, that you can do, like you just mentioned with

Krissy: [00:08:00] Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: toy. And there are practices that you can actually do in the moment to, to shift the state of your nervous system. But big picture, if we're talking like day to day, how can we be preventative in this so we don't get to that state? Three things. And I like to teach them like, can you do these for 10 minute? So 30

Krissy: Hmm.

Michelle Grosser: thing. And these are things that you can, like combine together. You can be really creative about this.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: they will regulate your nervous system. They will protect you from burnout, but more than that, they will help you just feel like normal and alive and, and all the good things.

So here's the first thing.

Krissy: Tell me, yes, I need this.

Michelle Grosser: we gotta move our body every day. Like there's

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: no way around that. You know, exercise, moving our body is the most efficient way to regulate our nervous system. And if you think about it, I mean, think about even maybe you guys have heard the term fight or flight, right?

It's like you're experiencing something stressful. You're, you're your toddler screaming, they're not putting their shoes on. It's hard to get outta the house in the morning, or big project that work or something. You feel it in your body, like you're [00:09:00] starting to get super annoyed,

Krissy: Super triggered

Michelle Grosser: You might lose it.

Your body's entering into fight or flight. Think about fight. Or flight.

Krissy: Hmm.

Michelle Grosser: every cell in your body when you're in that state wants to move, It wants

Krissy: to run away

Michelle Grosser: to get safe, or it wants to like defend itself and fight to stay safe. It's fight or flight, and so many of us are living in that state for much of our day, right?

We're just like kind of

activated and anxious

and what do we do all day? We sit, right? We sit in the car or we sit at the desk or we sit at home, or we feel that way and we try to like. meditate. I'm gonna stay still, I'm gonna breathe. That's not helpful in that moment. Your body wants

Krissy: to move

Michelle Grosser: so can you go for a

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: right?

A 10 minute walk over your lunch break. Can you run up and

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: a few times? Can you do some squats? Can you do some jumping

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: and stretch? Can you just shake out your body? Can you put on a song and dance for a few

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: And I promise you, if you can incorporate [00:10:00] movement, it doesn't have to be quote unquote exercise, but if you can incorporate regular movement through your day,

that's a great protector against burnout.

Krissy: And that can be done with your kids. That doesn't have to be you time. No that can be done.

Michelle Grosser: be done. It's and of your kids need it too. It's not just

Krissy: us yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Right? Your kids need it too.

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: A hundred percent. And our, my kids like, they're

Krissy: 6

and

Michelle Grosser: 8 and, and we've been doing this together for a while, but like they'll know when I'm starting to like, mom, you need to shake. And I'm like, yeah, I do.

Alright, let's all shake.

Krissy: Ooh, I love that.

Michelle Grosser: up and wiggle and shake and put on a silly song and we shake and like. then I can breathe, then I can like sit and meditate, then I fine. But initially I gotta get that energy out, right? I have to follow the impulse of my body that's telling me, they're being chased by a lion, right?

That's what it feels like.

Krissy: you're right,

Michelle Grosser: or

Krissy: right?

Michelle Grosser: I gotta move. Yeah. So

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: your kids and your movement a

Krissy: Right. [00:11:00] Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: a lot of things. But so many of us have been. patterned and conditioned

to

Krissy: be busy

Michelle Grosser: all the time, right?

To be doing something all the time, to be listening, even to like a podcast or you know, something all the time. And we don't

Krissy: leave our

Michelle Grosser: brain the space that it needs to be able to do the things that it needs to do to be able to function how we want it to function, right? We wonder why we're living in brain fog, but it's

Krissy: like we're literally

Michelle Grosser: not giving our brain the time that it needs.

So, I mean, I like to

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: that with. My movement for me, like even today, I had to

Krissy: Oh damn.

Michelle Grosser: and like I go, I, I lift up the garage door to get out of the garage and my husband's truck is like parked right in [00:12:00] front of my car and I'm like, dang it. So I go to him, I'm like, Hey, can you move your truck? I need to go to UPS.

And he just looks at me and he's like, why don't you walk? It's like five blocks away. And I'm like, you know, like,

Krissy: Oh.

Michelle Grosser: I didn't wanna walk, but like. Ugh. And I just shut the door, you know? And I walked to UPS and I and I didn't bring my phone. And I'm like, I needed this so bad

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: my body and I needed to not be listening to anything or, or like consuming anything, or I just needed to be still.

I. nature, and it was so good

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: So, you know, what does that look like on the practical? A lot of times if you have a

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: can you commute without listening to the radio or a podcast or an

Krissy: Okay.

Michelle Grosser: Can you, can you just do that for 10 minutes and then put it on right. While

Krissy: Mm.

Michelle Grosser: you know, sweeping or doing laundry.

Can you do that in, in quiet or silence instead of always having something running in the background? Right. Like, what would it look like to leave your EarPods at home and just like.

Krissy: Mm.

Michelle Grosser: know, go some, just, just, and, and it's little moments, right? Can you take five minutes [00:13:00] here? 10 minutes here. Can I

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: in bed?

Sometimes I'll just lay in bed for five minutes before I get up because I'm like, those brainwaves that early in the morning are so precious. I'm like,

Krissy: Yeah, they are.

Michelle Grosser: day. Like, can I just

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Right. Hey, there's a pace we're gonna follow today, and it's not gonna be the pace of

Krissy: Right,

Michelle Grosser: there. We're good.

Krissy: right.

Michelle Grosser: this, and stillness is just so powerful. In regulating our nervous system and protecting us against burnout.

Krissy: When you first When you first started talking, I'm like, yeah, right. I. I am not getting 10 minutes of stillness in without anything else going on. But when you threw in the folding the laundry, like these are tasks that are productive,

Michelle Grosser: Yep.

Krissy: but they're not mentally stimulating.

So you can fold that laundry. It becomes rote, it becomes a thing. So doing that is, is both you're, you can add it in. You don't just have to sit there quietly without your phone for your 10 minutes.

Michelle Grosser: No, you don't have to if you can, right. If you [00:14:00] already have that as a practice,

Krissy: awesome Good on you. Keep doing that. But for a

lot of

Michelle Grosser: us it looks different and that's okay. But

Krissy: ultimately when I

Michelle Grosser: think about stillness for myself, it's like, can I just limit the input for 10 minutes?

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: What does that look like?

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah.

Krissy: And five is more than zero, like you said. Like,

Michelle Grosser: my clients,

Krissy: yep.

Michelle Grosser: start with, with 30 seconds today?

Krissy: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: That's a start.

Krissy: I.

Michelle Grosser: And then we'll get up to a minute and then 30 minutes and then five. So if it feels overwhelming, yeah. Start small. It's, it's great.

Krissy: Love that. Okay. Now tell me the third. I need to know the, the trifecta here.

Michelle Grosser: third one is play. We

Krissy: Love it.

Michelle Grosser: play. Yeah. As adults as people with a lot of responsibilities and obligations

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: and all the things. We've gotta create space for us to be able to experience the things that bring us joy and light us up. Not for the sake of, you know, getting something done

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: Like for the journey, right? Just to be able to do something because it actually brings me joy do it. And for [00:15:00] a lot of us, you know, in motherhood, that that's kind of one of the first things to go. I think it's like we,

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: I have so many women I work with, they're like, man, I just don't even know what I like to do anymore.

Like, it's been so long since I've done

Krissy: Yeah,

Michelle Grosser: that I love to do.

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: and maybe you're thinking that too, or maybe you're thinking one off time for that, right? Or wouldn't that be nice?

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: you know, that's for other people or that's your kids place for kids. But I would just invite you to put that to the test,

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: if you can find something that brings you joy, and I know you can right?

Think back on what are

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: love to do when you were 10 or 14 or 17.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: maybe it's. Baking or cooking. Maybe it's an instrument, maybe it's skateboarding, maybe it's fishing, maybe it's like doing puzzles

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: or what have you. Simple things, right? But if we can access that and what it does for our body on the regular. I challenge you more so than like your Pilates class, more so than like all these things that

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: If you can prioritize play, nothing [00:16:00] signals safety to your body, which

is ultimately what you're looking for, right? Subconsciously than play, right? If we were being. Traced, chased or, or faced with any significant stressor or threat, we would not be playing. So any moment that we're playing, right? And I, by play, I mean doing things that we truly enjoy to do for the sake of doing them. It just

Krissy: brings

so

Michelle Grosser: much safety to our body and that allows us to access, the parts of our brain that

Krissy: help us

to show

Michelle Grosser: up as our quote unquote, like best self or highest self or whatever we wanna call it. So it's so, so, so powerful to allow ourselves to play.

Krissy: Oh my gosh. I remember the first time that I laughed. Being a mom, like my full body laugh, the old me laugh and it was, you know, years into my motherhood, but it like shook me.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah.

Krissy: I was like. Whoa. Like at first it felt really good and then I was like, what is this? Why? Why does this feel different? Why does this feel new?

I'm a funny person and I forgot about that part of [00:17:00] myself. And we get so in it. Everything can feel so big because we have lives on our hands and it feels like a huge responsibility. But it's supposed to be fun being a mom.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah. Yep. And yeah, and right. It's like that's the, and it's like

Krissy: And Yes.

Michelle Grosser: It's

Krissy: Yes.

Michelle Grosser: and it's really awesome. There are parts that are

Krissy: Yeah,

Michelle Grosser: and fun, and there are parts that are super challenging

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: and can I find the joy and see the beauty, right.

Despite

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: That's, that's, that's the magic.

Krissy: 100%. Now, to bring it to, back to the theme of like, let's figure out how to make this actually work in your life. I mean, your movement break of a dance party, I. It could be both of these things, right? Like if you're really enjoying the music and not just going through the motions to appease your kids, to appease whatever, if you're truly getting into it, that's joy.

That's play.

Michelle Grosser: percent. Yeah, for sure. Get, you know, be playful in your selection of how you do these [00:18:00] things. Cu be curious

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Be, you know, treat it as

Krissy: Yeah

Michelle Grosser: and then watch what happens. Because I think

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: start to

Krissy: I.

Michelle Grosser: we'll see the ROI, right? And, and we'll be like, oh, this isn't actually just like a woo woo thing, right?

I'm making more money than I've ever made. I'm like, my marriage is better than it's ever been. Like, it, it, it impacts everything. The flow, the, the trickle down effect is real.

Krissy: Yeah, I can imagine. Now I wanna go talk about one thing about your relationship with that joy thing. So one thing I've found is it can be really awkward if you, if this is a piece of your life that you are missing to. Reconnect with your joy with your partner. Because what I think is when you're doing it with your kids, you can tap into that childlike part of your body, but once another adult comes in, it feels weird.

Does, is that something you're seeing too?

Michelle Grosser: Yeah. So I think, I mean, a couple things are coming to mind there. I think the first thing is that when we understand our capacity to experience emotions when we

Krissy: [00:19:00] Hmm.

Michelle Grosser: that works, right? We see that if we are. in a pattern where we struggle to experience and feel the uncomfortable emotions. So if you are someone who, let's say anger for example, right? That's a really uncomfortable

Krissy: Yes.

Michelle Grosser: especially for women and moms. Like, we're not allowed to

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: anger. There's so many

Krissy: Right,

Michelle Grosser: So let's say you're

Krissy: right.

Michelle Grosser: like, well, Michelle, I'm just, I'm never angry. That's that's how I thought I was right?

I'm like, I'm super

Krissy: Sure.

Michelle Grosser: angry. Like.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: I, I was very angry actually. I just didn't know it.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: or you're on the other end of the spectrum and you're like, I don't know what to do with my anger. I'm like, always just like yelling and I don't wanna yell at my kids, or I'm yelling at my husband. So

Krissy: Yep.

Michelle Grosser: these patterns right, where we're really uncomfortable, and then that emotion starts to come up.

And what do we do? We suppress it, right? So we suppress the

Krissy: Mm.

Michelle Grosser: we suppress the frustration, we suppress the sadness, we whatever. We're probably not even aware most of the time that we do it. What we

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: is that we can't just. Toggle on certain emotions and toggle off other ones. If we're

Krissy: Yep. [00:20:00] I.

Michelle Grosser: anger and sadness and grief, we are also suppressing joy and happiness and you know, all these beautiful things that we really

Krissy: Fascinating.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah. So if you've had a hard time accessing joy or sharing joy, that's something I would get curious about. Hmm. How comfortable am I

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: the uncomfortable emotions?

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: I let myself feel those? Because that'll actually help you cultivate I. A, a, a, an ease with which joy can come forth and you can experience it. So that's the first thing. The second thing is anytime that we are uncomfortable let's say like

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: joyful or playful with our, with our partner holy moly, is that an invitation to just lean into that discomfort?

Krissy: Right,

Michelle Grosser: that's

Krissy: right.

Michelle Grosser: growth, the breakthroughs on the other side of it.

Like, can it be okay that this is really uncomfortable and I'm still gonna do it, right. Can I just like

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: push past that? I made a

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: one year. This was like, I don't know, maybe four or five years ago, but [00:21:00] anytime I had a thought that came through was like, oh, I could never do that. Immediately, I, I had to actually do it and like, it was a rule I made with,

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: I can't do that. I actually

Krissy: Challenge accepted.

Michelle Grosser: right. So I'd be like, my husband would walk in the room, I'd be like, oh, I could never dance, like, you know, a fool. Like I'm dancing with my kids with him. And then

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: have to do it now.

I have to do this. And, and, and just flexing that muscle of

Krissy: Yeah,

Michelle Grosser: vulnerable and doing something new and it feel like a stretch and feels scary.

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: And then

Krissy: I.

Michelle Grosser: the final thing I'll say to that too is as I

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: to. Explore my own emotions and kind of practice feeling the uncomfortable one.

So like part of my

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: was that I was just, I was strong, right? I wasn't like dramatic. I wasn't a crier. I wasn't one of those women. Like I was, I was strong. I'm, I'm in my, my story was like, I'm in control of my

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: have

Krissy: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: like a sad movie would come on and I like, I'm the only person in the room who's not crying and I'm just like sitting there and

Krissy: Yeah,

Michelle Grosser: do I not feel sad?

And everyone's like

Krissy: yeah,

Michelle Grosser: So I'm like, this isn't actually [00:22:00] good. Right. When I started to learn about it and I told my husband, I'm like, listen, this is super awkward. But I'm gonna tell you this, like I'm actually

Krissy: yeah.

Michelle Grosser: to practice being more emotional because I want to like

Krissy: Mm

Michelle Grosser: that side of myself so the next time

Krissy: mm.

Michelle Grosser: you say something that hurts my feelings or the kids, or we're watching a sad movie or like something makes me angry at work instead of old pattern of just suppressing it, I'm gonna really try to like.

Let myself feel these things and like maybe cry in front of you or whatever it is. Right. You know, you have your

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: of that

Krissy: Right,

Michelle Grosser: you just like. Not say anything, right? Can you just like, know

Krissy: right,

Michelle Grosser: and just

Krissy: right.

Michelle Grosser: for me? And

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: And it was beautiful. And it was so awkward and so beautiful.

But I would encourage

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: same thing. Like if it feels weird, joy,

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: you, like, man, can you just be like, I'm trying to be more, more free and more joyful around you. Can we, can we just see what that feels like? It's gonna be weird for me, but let's, let's just try and then go

Krissy: Right.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah.

Krissy: I love it and I [00:23:00] love having that conversation ahead of time because like, don't be surprised by me being a little different or by these reactions. And you often say that burnout is common, but not normal. But there's a lot about the transition to motherhood that is normal, that is very sad, right?

You lose a lot of things and we don't talk about the how it is sad. It's joyful. It's more than ev you've ever experienced in your life, but it's also really sad and I'm, I love that you touched on that about how we don't, we do suppress it because we're not supposed to be sad in motherhood because moms aren't supposed to be sad.

You're supposed to be happy and it is

Michelle Grosser: you know? Or

Krissy: exactly.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah.

Krissy: Yeah, this is the best thing that's ever happened to you. You have a baby in your arms. How can you be so sad? Well, I'm sad because I don't know who my friends are anymore, and I don't see my PA friends at work anymore. I don't even know what, I don't. Yeah, exactly that too.

So, so to reconnect with this is so important because [00:24:00] everybody is going to experience sadness in this, or anger and all of the emotions that maybe weren't a regular part of our life before, for whatever reason they are now.

Michelle Grosser: right.

Krissy: have to come to terms with that. We have to accept that.

Michelle Grosser: Yeah. And you know, we can only hold for and teach our kids that, which we've experienced. Right. So that was a big

Krissy: Yes.

Michelle Grosser: for me too. I'm like, I don't wanna raise, especially I have two

Krissy: Yes.

Michelle Grosser: wanna raise another generation of women who are out of touch with their emotions, out of touch with their

Krissy: Mm-hmm.

Michelle Grosser: these patterns of suppressing and showing up as everyone else wants them to be.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: a, that's how we raise an anxious generation. That's how we

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: burnt out generation. But I couldn't teach

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: of that much, much less model it if I wasn't doing the work myself. Yeah.

Krissy: Powerful. Powerful.

So you have a really incredible resource for moms who are hearing this, are recognizing themselves in it, and need to do deeper healing than these three steps. So tell us about your free [00:25:00] podcast program that you have.

Michelle Grosser: so I have a, it's a five part private podcast series. It, it's completely free called Heal Your Burnout, and basically what it walks us through in the, in episode one, these are like really short, actionable episodes, but in the first one you kind of get a little quiz, I guess to kind of gauge your stage of burnout.

So am I. right? Or is this something deeper? Is this burnout that I should really look at through a different lens? And then we go through what's happening in your body, right? Understanding what chronic stress does to our body so that we can then understand what our body actually needs to start to heal and move out of that space. And then there's so many. contributing factors that led us to burnout, right? It doesn't just happen overnight. We don't just wake up, burnt

Krissy: Right,

Michelle Grosser: years

Krissy: right.

Michelle Grosser: you know, poor boundaries and suppressing emotions and poor coping mechanisms and all these different things. So we kind of break those down the, in the last few podcasts and talk about and talk through how we [00:26:00] can take, you know, those little steps today to start course correcting on

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: things that really, really pay off.

So that's the, that's the private podcast series.

Krissy: I love it. That's such a, it's, I've listened to it and it is, it's worth the listen, put it on while you're in the shower or you know, maybe after your 10 minutes into your walk, then put it on, right. Get that stillness in and then throw it on. And they really are bite-sized pieces that you can really take and you give homework at the end that you can really action take action steps on, which is so helpful.

And then you have your regular weekly podcast and you just started a meditation. Is that gonna be a regular piece?

Michelle Grosser: I think so I've gotten a lot of really good

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: about it. And it's something that you can kind of save and come back to. Like the one I released was a morning meditation for,

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: Kind of like to have a grounded, grateful, energized morning. So yeah, I think I wanna do more of them. I do them in my, in my group program.

So I have a whole

Krissy: Oh, great.

Michelle Grosser: in there for the women that do the group program with me. So I'm just kind of like. Pulling them [00:27:00] from, from that, that library that I have, and then publishing them on the podcast. But yeah, the podcast, we have episodes that come out on Tuesday and Friday. It's called The Calm Mom. And it really is. For the every mom, going through

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: the things we do, talk some parenting. But it's really focused on you, right? It's focused on you, the mom, and how can we equip and resource you through the real life things that we experience and different seasons, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout, mostly and give you, you know, practical, holistic, mostly body-based solutions to help you work through that.

And then you can turn around and teach those things to your kids.

Krissy: Yeah, definitely follow that and put that in your rotation. Now, where else can people find you?

Michelle Grosser: The podcast is the best place.

Krissy: Yeah.

Michelle Grosser: website is just my name, michelle grosser.com. Once in a while when I'm feeling inspired, I'll show up on Instagram, but I'm not so inspired in that space. And try not to spend so much time there. But honestly, the, the podcast, the Calm Mom, and then just my website, you can find out all the things there and connect with me, and there's tons [00:28:00] of free resources and good stuff.

Krissy: Great. Well, I feel like I could talk to you forever, so I really appreciate your time in this conversation and sharing it with our audience today. Thank you so much for being here.

Michelle Grosser: my goodness. You make it so

Krissy: I.

Michelle Grosser: It was such a joy. Thanks for having me.

In case you missed it, I just celebrated my 40th birthday, which got me thinking. Do birthdays as a mom, feel like just another day. It's weird. Right? Next week we're going to talk about why we often feel forgotten on our special day, and more importantly, how we can take back the joy of celebrating ourselves.

Until then, take a moment for yourself and remember, you are an amazing mom just as you

are. I've heard over and over again that moms need support in putting themselves first. So I created the More Than Mom community. This is a space to finally make time for the things that you love. One 10 day challenge at a time with a group of moms who won't let you quit. It's a place to start feeling like yourself again in just 10 minutes a day, even if you have no idea where to start.

You [00:29:00] don't have to do this alone. You deserve to feel like you again, and I'm here to help you every step of the way. Check out the show notes for a link to a free trial membership. I'd love to have you join us.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
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How Severe Burnout Transformed This Mom's Approach to Motherhood with Michelle Grosser (E37)