How to Handle the Whiplash of Mom Life (E51)

Mom's Guide to Finding Herself
Written By Mom Identity Project

What to Do When Motherhood Feels Like Whiplash (And You’re Not Sure Who You Are Anymore)

You know those days where everything swings wildly from magical to maddening—and back again—in the span of an hour?

Your toddler is cuddling you one second, screaming about toast the next. You feel a flicker of joy, followed by exhaustion, then guilt for feeling exhausted at all. You manage a moment of peace… only to cry while folding laundry five minutes later.

That, my friend, is the emotional whiplash of mom life.

And if you’ve been wondering why it feels so hard (even when everything is technically “fine”)—this post is for you.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Deep in It.

In this week’s episode of Mom’s Guide to Finding Herself, we dig into the invisible, relentless toll of switching emotional gears all day long.

Motherhood isn’t just about multitasking. It’s about multi-feeling.

You are:

  • Grateful and touched out

  • Proud and resentful

  • Content and lonely

    … all at once.

The emotional labor of mothering—managing your kids’ feelings while trying to hold onto your own—creates an internal storm that no one sees. And unless we name it, normalize it, and learn how to ride the waves, it can leave us feeling numb, drained, or constantly “off.”

Why Does Mom Life Feel So Emotionally Violent Sometimes?

A few reasons:

  • Context switching: You’re toggling between identities all day. Caregiver. Partner. Scheduler. Short-order cook. Human.

  • Invisible labor: You track the snack supply, the socks that are too tight, the emotional state of every tiny human in the house.

  • No time to process: You’re reacting, redirecting, resetting—but never actually decompressing.

And then there’s matrescence: the identity shift no one warned us about. You’re becoming someone new while still trying to remember who you were—and that inner disorientation makes the highs feel fragile and the lows feel like failure.

Here’s What Can Actually Help

No, I’m not going to tell you to meditate for 30 minutes (unless that’s your thing). But here are real, tiny tools that you can grab in the moment:

1. Anchor your day.

Pick one tiny ritual that reminds your brain you’re safe. Morning coffee. A song. A 3-minute walk outside. A sticky note that says “you’re here.”

2. Name it out loud.

“I’m feeling overwhelmed.” “I’m touched out.” “I’m not okay right now.”

Naming it helps your nervous system regulate and models emotional honesty for your kids.

3. Use the 3 R’s:

  • Recognize what’s happening (without judgment)

  • Regulate with something sensory (breath, music, movement, water)

  • Reconnect with what you need—even if it’s small and simple

4. Ditch the all-or-nothing thinking.

You can love your kids and still miss your freedom. You can be grateful and still overwhelmed. You can want space and still be a devoted mom. Holding both is what makes you human—not failing.

Meet Our Sponsor: Alexis from Confidently Therapy

This episode is sponsored by Alexis Adams, a therapist and coach who specializes in helping high-achieving moms stop overthinking, trust their choices, and find peace without doing more.

Her approach is faster than traditional therapy and built for moms who don’t have hours to spare.

📲 DM PODCAST to @confidently.therapy

🔗 Learn more at confidentlytherapy.org/about

You Are Allowed to Take Up Space in Your Own Life

If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes, just know: you’re not behind, you’re not broken, and you don’t need to fix yourself.

You’re just feeling everything. Deeply.

Because you love deeply.

And that means you deserve support.

So take a breath.

Take a beat.

And take one tiny step back toward you.

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the Mom's Guide to Finding Herself podcast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

How to Handle the Whiplash of Mom Life

===

[00:00:00] Have you ever felt like motherhood is just one giant emotional whiplash? One minute you're laughing because your toddler is singing a song that they just wrote at the top of their lungs, and the next, you're crying in the laundry room because you can't remember the last time you saw your friends in real life.

Today we're talking about the mental and emotional ricochet of mom life and how to ride the waves without completely losing your mind.

So a few weeks ago, I had a day, you know, the kind, it was a perfect example of this mom life whiplash that I'm going to talk about today, that I actually laughed out loud. It started with a. Sweet moment. Both of my kids were sitting together on the couch. Their heads were leaning into each other. They were flipping through a book together.

I took a picture and thought, wow, you know what? Maybe we're [00:01:00] turning a corner here. And then 15 minutes later, one of them was sobbing because the other breathed too loudly, and someone sock was feeling weird, and I'm stepping on a half chewed granola bar barefoot. And then it was lunchtime. And I felt like an actual rockstar.

I put together an Instagram worthy plate, and they actually ate the whole thing. There were no bribes. There was no drama. I had this tiny rush of pride like, you know what? Maybe I'm doing okay at this, but two hours later, I'm crouched in my room quietly crying while folding toddler pants because I realized I haven't had a real conversation with anyone over the age of four in days. That's the rhythm no one tells you about the constant swinging between joy. And depletion between love that is so big that it makes you ache and the loneliness that feels like it might swallow you.

That's the whiplash we're talking about today. And if you are stuck in that back [00:02:00] and forth, you're not alone, you're not broken. You're a mom. And today we're going to talk about how to ride those waves without completely losing who you are in the process. So let's talk about why this emotional whiplash happens. Motherhood demands, constant context switching. You're managing logistics, emotions and relationships all while trying to stay a functional adult. It's not just the kids who are changing moods every five minutes. It's you trying to regulate your own emotions while navigating theirs.

There's also the weight of the invisible labor, keeping track of the growth charts, the nap schedules, the snack rotations, and what items are currently considered acceptable footwear. Your brain is juggling a thousand things that don't always get acknowledged even when nothing goes wrong. Just the act of being the central command center for your entire household is emotionally draining.

That [00:03:00] internal juggling can leave you with whiplash, even when the outside world sees calm. There are also the external transitions, school dropoffs, doctor's appointments, play dates, the million micro conversations, the cleaning and coordinating. You are constantly shifting your tone, your pace, and your expectations.

Your nervous system doesn't get to rest. And over time that buildup of adrenaline and cortisol just wrecks your ability to feel centered. And then there's the identity shift that makes it even harder. Part of what makes the emotional swing so destabilizing is that we're doing it while feeling disconnected from who we are.

We're not just shifting between tasks, we're shifting between identities. Some days I feel like I'm playing 27 different roles, and not a single one of them is just Krissy. This matters because when your identity feels fractured [00:04:00] or invisible, the highs don't feel quite real and the lows feel unbearable.

You don't have a solid emotional anchor, and we're expected to perform all of these roles seamlessly. We're a cheerful playmate. We are a calm disciplinarian. We're a loving partner, a capable human being with very little space to simply be. Even joyful moments can feel confusing, like you're happy, but you're also exhausted, or you're grateful, but you are quietly resentful and then you feel guilty for that resentment, which adds another layer to the emotional rollercoaster.

It's all tangled together. This is where matrescence comes in. That huge sweeping identity shift that mirrors adolescence, you are literally relearning who you are. And that process is not linear or simple. It's [00:05:00] layered, it's clumsy, it's disorienting, and you're doing it without a roadmap while someone is tugging on your pant leg asking for more applesauce.

But let's take a quick pause here before we dive into tools that you can actually use in those hard moments. I wanna tell you about someone that I trust. If you are an ambitious, high achieving, overthinking mom who works hard to do everything right but feels stretched thin and stuck in your head, you need to meet my friend Alexis from Confidently Therapy.

She helps moms feel more at ease to trust their choices without second guessing, and to create space to enjoy life again without letting things fall apart. Her approach is faster than traditional therapy and built specifically for moms who don't have hours to spare.

You can find Alexis on Instagram at Confidently Therapy, and if you're listening right now, send her a DM with the word podcast to book a free 30 minute strategy call. [00:06:00] She'll help you map out a simple plan to let go without losing yourself. So now let's talk about the tools that you can use for managing your whiplash.

You could start by anchoring your day. You don't need a rigid schedule, but you do need consistent touchpoints, whether it's your morning coffee ritual or a song that you always play during cleanup or five minutes of journaling at night. Build in repeatable moments that remind your nervous system that you are safe and grounded. These small rhythms function like bookmarks in your day, they signal to your brain. This is a reset point. You don't have to start over. You just have to pause, and then you can use the power of naming out loud. Say, what's happening? I am feeling really touched out. I'm overwhelmed.

It helps your brain process the emotion instead of getting swept away by it. Plus, it models emotional [00:07:00] awareness for your kids. You can even get playful with it. My kids now know what it means when I say. Mommy needs a break. That means I'm walking away for two minutes to breathe and probably eat a piece of chocolate in the bathroom.

Drop the all or nothing thinking. You don't need to be joyful or miserable. You can be both. You can want space and still love being needed. The whiplash doesn't mean something is wrong. It means you're deeply in it. We are conditioned to label things as good or bad, but in motherhood, almost nothing is that clear cut.

You can adore your kids and still miss the version of yourself who wasn't so needed all the time. It doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you honest. There are three Rs that I want you to have in your brain. Recognize, regulate, [00:08:00] reconnect. The first one recognizes they're to recognize what you're feeling.

Name it, no judgment regulate. Do something to calm your nervous system. This could be as simple as placing your hand on your heart and taking a breath, drinking a full glass of water, listening to one song you love. Reconnect, ask. What do I need right now and what's the smallest version of that that I can give myself?

Maybe it's texting a friend. Maybe it's asking your partner for 15 minutes alone. Maybe it's just acknowledging that you're running on empty. Validate yourself. The goal isn't to fix everything. It's to give yourself one step back towards your center. And if none of that feels possible in the moment, that's okay too.

Awareness [00:09:00] alone is progress. You're not behind. You are building capacity slowly and on your own terms. If this episode hit home, share it with a mom friend who needs to know that she's not alone. Follow the show. Leave a rating or review, and come find me on Instagram at Mom Identity Project. I love hearing from all of you about what you find most helpful

have you ever got that itch to start something just for you, a creative project, a little side hustle, and then instantly wonder how the heck would I even have time for that without falling apart? I've been there. In the next episode, we're talking about how to dip your toe into something new without burning out overcommitting or turning your fun idea into just another thing on your to-do list.

If you've been craving something that is yours, this is for you.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
Next

Becoming a Mother While Navigating Hip Dysplasia with Brittany Nassery (E50)