Making Your Dreams Bigger Than Your Fears in Motherhood (E53)

Mom's Guide to Finding Herself
Written By Mom Identity Project

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming—just for a second—while folding laundry or sitting in the preschool pick-up line… and then immediately shut it down?

“Be realistic.”

“There’s no time for that right now.”

This post is about that quiet ache for more. The dream that still whispers under the noise of motherhood. And how to let it breathe again, even when fear still tells you you’re not ready.

The Version of You Who Dreamed Big

Before kids, I was someone who chased ideas fast and loud. I ran two side businesses, coached teachers full-time, and still found time to plan trivia nights and volunteer in my community. I thrived on tight deadlines and a color-coded planner.

And then… motherhood.

It wasn’t just the time that vanished—it was the motivation. The belief. The version of me who knew how to make things happen started to feel like a memory.

Every dream suddenly felt risky. Like if I reached for more, something would fall apart—my kids, my marriage, or maybe even me.

So I made my dreams smaller. Safer. Sometimes I didn’t even let myself finish the thought before I shut it down.

Why Moms Stop Dreaming

It’s not because we don’t care anymore. It’s because the mental space for imagination gets crowded out by snack prep, nap logistics, emotional load, and the unspoken expectation to put yourself last.

Our culture tells us a good mom is selfless. That wanting more is selfish.

But on the flip side, we’re also told to “have it all.” Career. Kids. A thriving side hustle. A clean house. Meal-prepped lunches. And toned arms while we’re at it.

It’s no wonder our dreams go silent.

We’re exhausted just keeping up with survival.

What’s the Cost of Shrinking Yourself?

Everything might look fine on the outside, but inside… life feels beige.

You’re floating through your days on autopilot. You don’t feel broken, but something’s missing. And over time, that absence builds resentment—toward your schedule, your partner, even yourself.

You start to wonder, what about me?

Or worse—you stop asking the question entirely.

The Poster That Haunted Me

I remember passing a coworking space downtown and seeing a flyer on the window:

“Creative Writing Night. Tuesdays at 6:30.”

My whole body lit up for a second. Something about that sign reminded me of me.

But then I laughed—with what time? With what childcare?

That flyer wasn’t even about writing. I don’t even like writing fiction.

It was about permission.

Permission to want something for myself.

And that longing stayed with me for weeks.

If You’ve Been Waiting for a Sign… This Is It

You are not “just” a mom. You’re a powerhouse of lived experience.

You’ve survived sleep deprivation, managed tantrums in Target, coordinated birthday parties and budgeted your family’s time, energy, and emotional resources like a boss.

That’s leadership. That’s creativity. That’s resilience.

And you are still allowed to want more.

Dreaming doesn’t mean blowing up your life. It doesn’t require quitting your job or building a business from scratch (although it can). It might look like…

  • Sketching out that podcast idea during nap time

  • Texting a friend about starting a book club

  • Or just saying out loud, “I want more.” Without guilt.

Need Help Finding That Spark Again?

Let me introduce you to someone who helps moms do exactly that.

✨ Alexis Adams is the founder of Confidently Therapy, and she gets the mental load. Her specialty is helping high-achieving, overthinking moms feel lighter, more confident, and more like themselves again—without having to sit on a couch for 60 minutes a week.

💬 DM her @confidently.therapy with the word PODCAST to book a free 30-minute strategy call. She’ll help you map out what ease could actually look like in your real life.

Practical Steps to Start Dreaming Again

If your dreams feel fuzzy, or far away, or even “silly” right now—let’s start small.

🕒 Reclaim 15 Minutes

Find one small pocket of time just for you. Nap time. Post-bedtime. While the kids are at school. Use it to explore. Journal. Sketch. Browse. Brainstorm.

📝 Journal Prompt

“If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I try this year?”

Let yourself write without censoring. Let it be messy and honest.

😬 Name the Fear—Then Flip It

Fear: If I fail…

Flip: If I learn something new…

Fear: If I embarrass myself…

Flip: If I show my kids what trying looks like…

🧭 Follow the Breadcrumbs

Notice what excites you. A podcast you keep returning to. A hobby you miss. A compliment that stuck with you. Follow those leads.

🗣 Say It Out Loud

Tell a friend. A partner. A coach. Saying it gives the dream oxygen.

🎉 Celebrate Micro-Moves

Wrote a list? Made a Pinterest board? Sent a scary DM? That counts. Honor it.

🔄 Give Yourself Permission to Pivot

You are not committing to forever. You are experimenting. And you’re allowed to change your mind.

Want Support Turning That Dream Into Something Real?

If you’re ready to stop swirling in your own head and start building something meaningful—let’s work together.

📣 Apply for 1:1 Business Coaching:

Together, we’ll take your dream and turn it into a doable plan that fits your actual life—not some idealized version of it.

👉 www.momidentityproject.com/businesscoaching

You’re still in there.

You’re still allowed to want more.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Share this with a mom who needs the reminder.

Tag me @momidentityproject and let me know what dream you’re bringing back to life. 💛

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the Mom's Guide to Finding Herself podcast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

making dreams bigger than fears

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[00:00:00] Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming while folding laundry or driving your kids around and then immediately shut it down and told yourself, be realistic. There is no time for that right now.

This episode is about that quiet ache for more and how to start honoring it even if fear still whispers. You are not ready.

Before kids. I was the kind of person who didn't just chase dreams. I built them fast and loud. I was running two side businesses, coaching teachers full-time, and somehow still found time to plan trivia nights and volunteer in my community. I thrived in that rhythm. I was energized by big goals and tight deadlines.

My planner was packed and color coded and honestly. I loved it, but then [00:01:00] motherhood came and everything shifted. It wasn't just the time that disappeared. It was the drive, the motivation, the confidence, the belief that I could dream something.

And make it happen. I started to wonder if that ambitious, creative capable version of me even existed anymore, and suddenly every dream felt like a risk that I couldn't afford. Like if I reached for more, something would fall apart. My kids, my marriage, me and I started making my dreams smaller, safer.

Sometimes I didn't even let myself finish the thought before I shut it down. But over time, I've learned that dreaming again doesn't mean going back to the version of me that could do it all. It means making room for the version of me now, the mom who's still allowed to want to create, to grow, even if it looks different, even if it's slower.

Let's talk about what it really means to make our [00:02:00] dreams bigger than our fears, even in the messy middle of motherhood. So why do moms start dreaming? Let's start here because it's the invisible story no one tells us. When you become a mom, the world doesn't just hand you a baby. It hands you a new identity, a new mental load, and an unspoken expectation to put yourself last.

You stopped dreaming, not because you've stopped caring, but because your brain is so full of the to-dos, the appointments, the snacks, the mental spreadsheets of all of the things that there's no space left for imagination.

There are days you can't even remember what you walked into that room for. How are you supposed to remember what lit you up before this? Add to that, the cultural messages we've soaked up for our whole lives that a good mom is selfless, that wanting more might mean you're ungrateful or distracted or doing motherhood wrong.

And on the flip side, we are told to have it all. To do it all. A thriving [00:03:00] family and a career and a passionate side hustle and a clean house and meal prep lunches and toned arms. It's exhausting. No wonder our dreams are getting quieter, but what's the cost of shrinking yourself? When you keep silencing your desires, life starts to feel. Beige, like you're floating through days on autopilot.

Maybe everything looks fine on the outside, but inside there's this quiet frustration, this low grade hum of something's missing. That's not because you're broken, it's because your dreams are still alive under the surface. And over time that can turn into resentment. You start to look at your life and think, what about me?

Or worse, you stop thinking about yourself at all. You become background noise in your own story. I've had moments like that where I looked around and thought, [00:04:00] this life is so full, but I feel empty. And that feeling isn't failure. It's a signal, a whisper saying, you are still in here. So here's a quick story about the poster that haunted me.

I remember walking past this cute little coworking space downtown just for a second while we were going to the library, and I saw a flyer tape to the door that said Creative Writing Night. Tuesdays at six 30, and I froze. Something inside me lit up like my old self knocked on the door of my brain and whispered, Hey, remember this?

But then I laughed out loud, like, yeah, okay, Krissy, sure with what time, with what energy? But that flyer haunted me for weeks, not because I wanted to write, I am not actually interested in doing creative writing, but because I missed believing I could want something for myself. And then even when you do get brave enough to consider a dream. [00:05:00] Imposter syndrome enters. You start to think, who am I to do this? I'm not qualified.

I've been out of the game for way too long, or I'm just a mom. Let me say this clearly, you are not just a mom. You are a powerhouse of lived experience. You've navigated, sleepless nights, managed tantrums in target coordinated play dates and kept tiny humans alive.

That's leadership. That is resilience. That's creativity. Don't you dare count yourself out because your resume looks different. Now here's the truth. Your dreams can evolve. They can be slower. Softer, more fluid than they were in your twenties, but they still matter deeply. Dreaming in motherhood doesn't have to mean quitting your job or launching a business, although it can.

It might mean sketching out [00:06:00] that podcast idea during nap time or texting a friend about starting a book club, or even allowing yourself to say, I want more without immediately feeling guilty. If you're listening and thinking, I want that, but I don't even know where to start.

I wanna tell you about someone I trust. If you are an ambitious, high achieving, overthinking mom who works hard to do everything right but feels so stretched thin and stuck in your head, you need to meet my friend Alexis from Confidently Therapy. She helps moms feel more ease, trust their choices without second guessing, and create space to enjoy life again without letting things fall apart. Her approach is faster than traditional therapy and built specifically for moms who don't have hours to spare.

You can find Alexis on Instagram at Confidently Do Therapy. And for my listeners, send her a DM with the word podcast to book a free 30 minute strategy call. She'll help you map out a simple plan to let go without losing yourself.

So here's some advice for the moms listening right now. Maybe your dreams [00:07:00] feel fuzzy. Maybe you used to know exactly what you wanted and now it feels out of reach. Or maybe you haven't let yourself want anything in years. Wherever you are, that's okay. Here's the thing. Your dream doesn't have to be big or impressive.

It just has to belong to you.

So here's how to start dreaming again, even if you're still scared. Let's get practical. Start by reclaiming 15 minutes. Carve out pockets of time just for you early morning after bedtime while the kids are at school. Wherever it is, use it to explore something that lights you up. Brainstorm, write, research, reflect.

Try this prompt journal on this question. If I knew I couldn't fail, what would I try this year? And try not to censor yourself. Just let it pour out. And then when you get to it, name the fear, and then flip it. Write down your biggest fear. What is the worst thing that could happen? [00:08:00] What are you afraid of happening?

Then rewrite it into a possibility. This is what it could look like. If you're saying, if I fail. Maybe that's your biggest fear. Turning it into, if I learn something new. Right. You just because you failed at it or feel like you failed at it, doesn't mean you didn't learn things along the way.

Maybe your fear is, if I embarrass myself, turn that into, if I show my kids what trying looks like, how powerful is that? Follow the breadcrumbs. Pay attention to what excites you even a little bit. Maybe it's a podcast you love or a hobby that you miss doing, or a compliment that you brushed off. That's your inner compass to figure out where you might go with this and then say it out loud.

Tell someone saying it gives the dream oxygen, it makes it real. Celebrate every step, every micro action is momentum. Did you make a list? Celebrate it? Did you send an [00:09:00] email, celebrate it, thought about something that felt exciting? Celebrate that too. It is all an important part of the process. Even just having the idea and allowing yourself to get excited about it, give yourself permission to pivot.

Dreams can change. You are not committing to forever. You're experimenting and you're allowed to stop and experiment and to try again. If this episode hit home, share it with another mom who needs to hear it. Follow the show, leave a review and send me a DM on Instagram at Mom Identity Project.

I'd love hearing what's resonating with you.

If you are ready to reconnect with what lights you up, send me a dm. I would love to start going through some ideas with you. It's honestly what lights me up

Now you're going to wanna stick around because in the next episode I have a guest coming to share those moments in motherhood where everything feels like it's falling apart and somehow something new is quietly being built.

My friend Megan McNamee from Feeding Littles is coming to share her experience with this with us. [00:10:00] If you've ever felt like life forced you off of one path without showing you the next, this episode will hit home.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
Next

Starting a Side Hustle as a Mom Without Losing Your Sanity (E52)